


Seeds of hope

by Darkspirit



Series: Steven's oddysey [2]
Category: Gravity Falls, Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst and Feels, Bad Parenting, Childhood Trauma, Crying, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Family Issues, Father-Son Relationship, Flashbacks, Friendship, Gen, Identity Issues, Implied Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Lies, Loss of Control, Mentioned Bill Cipher, Mentioned Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), Minor Pacifica Northwest/Dipper Pines, Mistakes, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Pines Family Bonding, Post-Episode: s06e10 Prickly Pair, Post-Gravity Falls, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-Weirdmageddon, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Worth Issues, Shapeshifting, Sibling Bonding, Starting Over, Steven Universe Future, Steven Universe Needs Therapy, Therapy, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:41:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 34,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24190717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkspirit/pseuds/Darkspirit
Summary: A new place means a new start, right? For Steven, however, it'll be harder than he thought it would be. Thankfully, in Gravity Falls he may find himself and maybe, just maybe, people who can really understand how he feels.
Relationships: Dipper Pines & Ford Pines, Dipper Pines & Mabel Pines, Dipper Pines & Stan Pines, Dipper Pines & Steven Universe, Fiddleford H. McGucket & Ford Pines & Stan Pines, Ford Pines & Mabel Pines, Ford Pines & Stan Pines, Ford Pines & Steven Universe, Jesus "Soos" Alzamirano Ramirez & Dipper Pines & Mabel Pines, Jesus "Soos" Alzamirano Ramirez & Stan Pines, Jesus "Soos" Alzamirano Ramirez & Wendy Corduroy, Mabel Pines & Stan Pines, Mabel Pines & Steven Universe, Pacifica Northwest & Dipper Pines & Mabel Pines, Steven Universe & Everyone, Steven Universe & Other(s)
Series: Steven's oddysey [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1630159
Comments: 30
Kudos: 210





	1. Meeting Soos and taking it easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven is finally in Gravity Falls! But not in the way he wanted.  
> Warning: panic attack and a bit of dissociation.

Soos has never been too much of a morning person, but working in the Mystery Shack was different because there he felt like home. The friends he met, bonding with Mr. Pines who was like a father to him and the satisfaction of doing his job well always made him smile and that enthusiasm was even bigger now that he was the new Mr. Mystery. Last year was one of the bestest of his life when Mr. Pines named him the new head of the Mystery Shack by putting his little hat on his head.

  
  
He couldn't believe it! His dream had become true! It was even better than having Christmas, vacations, and his birthday all in one day!

  
  
So, anyone who had fulfilled their dreams would be ecstatic to live them fully like he was. And the top of the cake was his relationship with Melody. Both were so in love with each other despite her living so far away, but hey, that's why Skype, Zoom and chat videos existed, right? Always a solution to anything!

  
  
Yeah, life couldn't be better!

  
  
"G morning, dude!" he saluted like a commander to his red-headed friend, Wendy, who yawned a bit before smiling at Soos.

  
  
"Hey...man"

  
  
"Are you ok?" He noticed Wendy's eyes look tired, with huge bags that gave her a raccoon-like appearance.

  
  
"Have you ever, like, EVER wished that your siblings just shut up for a second so you can have a well-needed sleep?"

  
  
"Aaaahhhhhh..." Soos didn't know how to respond because one, obviously he was an only child, and two, he got a good 8-9 hours of sleep, so he just pat her back kindly while going to the kitchen. "Do you want some coffee?"

  
  
"Charged. Make it as charged, caffeinated, or whatever that keeps me from making the floor my new bed" The teenager groaned and massaged her temples while sitting in her chair in front of the cash register.

  
  
Well, not everyone left the bed with boundless energy but it's not something that coffee couldn't fix, Soos hoped. While making the drink, however, the ground started trembling, first at intervals, slightly, then more often and stronger. Worried, Soos went to the cash register to check on Wendy who was on high alert and at the brink of a panic attack.

  
  
"Dude, hey dude, calm down. It's ok" Soos kind voice brought her out of her stupor and relaxed slowly.

  
  
"Yeah... Thanks, Soos. Sorry about that, by the way, it's just that...the trembles reminded me some horrible things I don't want to think about"

  
  
"It's alright. Hey, I'll bring you the coffee right now and be careful with the other objects if one of them is going to fall"

  
  
Wendy nodded and rubbed her eyes to rid of the tiredness.

  
  
So, an-almost earthquake, uh? Well, that was fine, too. It was just nature getting jittery, it could happen anywhere.

  
  
Soos thought about this while holding a cup for the coffee.

  
  
===============

  
  
Business in the Shack was normal as always. Some tourists came, got a tour, paid for souvenirs and left. There was also a kid who asked about the statue of the forest that looked like a triangle-like cartoon. Soos really had a good idea in making Bill Cipher's petrified body into an exhibition for the tourists to take selfies and pictures. Heck, even Dr. Pines was excited about it and take himself a picture where he was flipping off against what was left of Bill. Mr. Pines said that it was cathartic and really funny, his brother needed it.

  
  
"Can't believe we are making more money because of Bill statue than anything else. Am I right?" Soos commented while sweeping the souvenir area.

  
  
"It's the last that jerk could do for us after Weirdmaggedon and turning our families into stone" Wendy grumbled, still a bit sleepy.

  
  
One of her hands went to the last snowglobes and bobby head figures to put in the top shelf, climbing the metal mobile stairs when...

  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" An ear-splitting and powerful shriek got her by surprise. Wendy lost balance and fell from the stairs, back against the floor. She didn't have time to curse for the painful fall because, immediately, both hands went to her ears to cover them.

  
  
The shriek was so intense that every object trembled and broke into pieces if it was made of glass.

  
  
The ground trembled again, some souvenirs then fell from their places almost hurting Wendy who cursed loudly, though her yell was nothing compared to that shriek that didn't. Stop. YET!!

  
  
"WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!" she screamed, trying to get up but the shaking ground was getting worse and then...

  
  
Crash!

  
  
The light bulb of the lamp in the souvenir area imploded.

  
  
Great! Just what they needed! Now they had to call an electrician!

  
  
Fortunately, the shriek finally stopped and the shaking too, although slowly. The red-headed teenager got up and checked her surroundings. Things were kind of messy, many souvenirs had fallen or broken, the light bulb was gone, the windows were shattered, her cup of coffee didn’t last much longer either. Then her eyes went to Soos.

  
  
Her friend was ok-ish, scared, and utterly confused, but physically he was fine. She sighed in relief.

  
  
"Dude... What the heck happened?"

  
  
"Honestly, I don't know and I don't want to find out. And my ears will be happy to not hear that ever again. Anyway, you're ok?"

  
  
"It took me by surprise. But I'm fine, and you?"

  
  
"Got a nasty fall from the stairs but I'm ok, I guess"

  
  
Soos smiled but something in his gut told him that whatever caused that shriek could do it again and destroy more than what it did before, so, it was better to find out the source and make a plan as soon as possible.

  
  
"Wendy, dude, can you stay here and clean all of this? I'm going to the forest, maybe the one who shrieked is there"

  
  
"What?! Are you crazy?! And what are you gonna do if you find it?"

  
  
"Just take a photo. Don't worry, I won't get close. But I'm worried that this will happen again, so, you stay here and wait. I'll come back"

  
  
"Ok, but don't take too long"

  
  
The gopher-like man nodded and got out of the shack although hesitantly. Before entering the truck, he grabbed a baseball bat that was stored in the golf car, and the ax used to chop the wood. He grimaced, violence wasn't something in his list of solutions but if the thing that shrieked was going to attack then better prevent than being sorry, right?

  
  
Soos turned on the engine and entered the forest, hoping this wasn't a monster hunt like those ones Dr. Pines experienced in his time on different dimensions because he didn’t feel that confident with something so out of his level.

  
  
\---------------------------------------

  
  
_45 minutes before the shaking and shriek..._

Steven couldn't believe his luck!

  
  
Go to help that unlucky man, his mind said. It will help you feel useful and better, his mind said. Yeah right!

  
  
Useful and better his mind's FUCKING. BUTT!!!

  
  
All this ordeal didn't make him useful, in fact, it, just showed him how out of touch he was at helping others, which just worsened his already bad mood.

  
  
He thought it was going to be a simple task. That man in the road said that his car engine got a malfunction so he had to stop and **~~fix~~** repair it, then, out of the blue, a group of tiny bearded men ambushed his car, stole his food and other belongings and ran away to the forest.

  
  
If his life were normal **~~sometimes, he wished that~~** he would have thought that guy was nuts or pranking him or trying to mess with his head ~~**White's manipulative words still haunted him in his nightmares!**~~

  
  
However, Steven’s childhood was anything but normal AND he just couldn't leave this man feeling desperate and lost kind of like he was right now, so he told him to wait while Steven went to the forest to find those tiny thieves and get all the stuff back.

  
  
But of course, it wasn't going to be so easy peasy. Where should he begin to search?

The forest was too big, it would take him hours to find them and he doubted that guy was going to be patient till the dawn of the next day.

  
  
He needed to think of a way to get this done quickly. Let's see, if he were a tiny bearded man who wanted food, what he would do to steal it? Obviously, finding someone distracted or dumb enough whose things were on a pretty vulnerable place, and with vulnerable Steven meant being all alone, no backups to warning you.

  
  
So...

  
  
"Pizza! Pizza! Who wants some delicious fish fried pizza?! Mozzarella, pepperoni, onions, everything you want and more!"

  
  
Yep, if someone saw him, they would label him as a crazy man. Who the heck sells pizza in the middle of a forest, right?

  
  
But if those tiny thieves were that hungry, then Steven's plan would be successful. He just had to prevent from being stolen and follow them till he found that guy's belongings.

  
  
The rest of the story was too much humiliation and a scare, maybe both, yeah, a mix of both exactly, for Steven to want to recall it. One moment he was driving in his car through the forest, yelling pizza over and over again, then the next one, dozens of tiny men that even wore pointy hats ambushed him like voracious wolves.

  
  
One of them even entered his car, because of the open space of the window and searched through the compartments in front of the co-pilot seat. Many more followed him but Steven grabbed the little bastard and threw him out of the Dondai before closing the window.

  
  
However, the thieves didn't stop there, oh no, they scratched, hit, kicked and tackled the car even if it was speeding and turning right or left like crazy to rid of them.

  
  
Panic overwhelmed Steven as the neon pink color, and in a matter of seconds, a huge bubble covered the car, expelling the tiny men. It even sprouted spikes.

  
  
The boy clutched at his chest. At any moment, he would collapse from a heart attack and he was sweating so much.

  
  
Many horrible images of past persecutions orchestrated by gems against him invaded his mind. His hands grabbed his hair, trying to calm down but then a sudden movement got him by surprise.

  
  
Shaking his head to clear his vision, Steven saw with awe and horror that more tiny thieves had gathered around him. The number could have been close to 50 or more!

  
  
They were speaking at each other while glaring at him or narrowing their hungry, angry eyes at what? The car or him? Some even touched the bubble and its spikes with distrust. What was he going to do? Were they going to give up?

  
  
 _Please, give up! Please, give up!_ He pleaded in his mind.

  
  
Sadly, it happened otherwise. Not happy with Steven’s bubble getting in the way of the food, all of them made a formation carried both the spikey bubble and the car inside of it!

  
  
One of the tiny men yelled something and the whole crowd of thieves ran while carrying the heavy bubble. Then jumped, then threw with all their might the spikey bubble with both Steven and the Dondai.

  
  
His head was spinning both metaphorically and literally. The fear was so strong that nothing could get him out of the trance he was in. Then a crash was heard and blackness surrounded him.

  
  
Moments later, Steven woke up disoriented and ready to vomit.

  
  
His body felt like lead, taking him an eternity to get out of his Dondai to see the damage.

  
  
A single look at his car told him that the poor vehicle wasn't very lucky. It was a miracle, though, that the vehicle hasn't ended up upside down and just with the right side kissing the ground while the other one pointed to the sky. Still, it was a wreck.

  
  
The windows of the rear seats were deeply cracked, the right door of the co-pilot seat was dented and stuck, the front of the car was malformed because of the hits, the engine was expelling both smoke and some sparks, and the rear compartment was opened.

  
  
Wait what?

  
  
"Oh no!" Quickly, he got up from the ground and looked at the rear compartment. His bag was on the grass but almost empty. His spare of clothes was in some bushes, some dirtier than others. The food and snacks he bought in the way and didn't have the mood to eat, though, were another story.

  
  
They were gone. Those tiny jerks stole everything edible he had! And to top it all, there wasn't a single footprint on the soil to see where they could have gone.

  
  
He was lost, he almost died **~~again!~~** And now he would starve!

  
  
He didn't know what to do!

  
  
No wait, he still had money but that amount was for him to build his new life not to waste in more junk food and even if he could use his phone, because yeah, he brought it with him, he wasn't going to turn it on.

  
  
Just imagining the hundreds of thousands of lost calls and unanswered messages from his family and friends was too much for him to bear.

  
  
He was going to start again and do better not to be a burden to them, but thanks to those stupid little thieves his plans were in total disarray!

  
  
An overwhelming buzz flooded his ears, his muscles were between becoming jelly for the constant trembling and growing spikes for how angry he was.

  
  
Not noticing his already-neon-pink skin, Steven punched the ground cracking it. Huge fissures appeared while the surface started trembling. The first hit was just the entry though, for the ground received a full main course and dessert courtesy of Steven's ire.

  
  
With each punch, more fissures painted the scenery while the trembling got more constant, but hey, at least it worked to calm him down because he stopped.

  
  
...

  
  
...

  
  
...

  
  
...

  
  
...

  
  
Nah, not that much.

  
  
In fact...

  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled.

  
  
All his pent up emotions pulled the strings of his mind and gem powers in a single hellish scream. He didn't care, he couldn't care anymore as he yelled, and yelled, and yelled till his brain felt like a puddle and his throat begged him to stop.

  
  
After what it seemed an eternity, Steven lowered his voice and the destructive shriek ended with a single 'plop' of his butt making contact with the ground as he hugged his knees and tried to sleep to rid of the mental and emotional exhaustion. His body still neon pink.

  
  
\---------------------------------------

  
  
Soos had no idea where to start, to be honest, the thing responsible for that horrible shriek could be anywhere. Heck, it could even be hidden and ready to attack, but if he gave up right now, there would be a chance for it to use whatever powers it had to destroy more than moments ago.

  
  
It had been a long time, he didn’t know how long when one of the wheels of his truck got stuck into something, maybe a hole.

  
  
He got out of the vehicle to check if the wheel hasn't deflated when Soos saw it, a deep, scary fissure had trapped the wheel and it seemed it was large, really, really large.

  
  
With all his might, Soos got the wheel out of the fissure and turn on the engine again to follow the path it made. Perhaps, he might find the answers to the incident if he found the source.

  
  
There were more fissures along the way, it was seriously worrying and Soos wondered how big and dangerous the creature was to cause such damage. Then he noticed something beyond the pines, it looked like a vehicle, dirty and broken, 'lying from a side' and a person sitting and hugging their knees. Were they attacked by the monster?

  
  
Soos immediately turn off the engine, got out of the truck, and walked to the stranger to check if they were alright. Then he noticed something peculiar, that guy's whole body was pink, not because of the pink jacket they were wearing but the skin. It was glowing a neon pink like one of those bright signs of Las Vegas.

  
  
And weirdest too was the fact that the fissures ended where the guy was. There were even holes where those fissures started. The whole ground surrounding him looked as if it had been stepped by a giant having a tantrum.

  
  
Shock and confusion consumed Soos' mind. Was this little dude the one who caused the shaking? Could he shriek to the point of breaking glass?

Maybe or maybe not, but there was one way to find out.

  
  
"H-Hey, dude. Hey, are you ok?"

  
  
The guy didn't listen to him, so Soos approached the stranger cautiously and kneeled at his side. "Are you ok?" He asked again and put a hand on his shoulder to shake him a bit.

  
  
"Aaaahhh! Who's?! What happened?!" the guy, who was a kid of 16 or 17 maybe, exclaimed in fear. His skin shined more in that weird neon pink color.

  
  
"Hey, hey, calm down, little dude. It's ok. I won't hurt you"

  
  
"Who-Who are you?"

  
  
"My name is Soos. And I was..." _Looking for the monster who almost destroyed the Shack but you don't look like one_ , but no, Soos wasn't going to be that rudely blunt "Well, the ground was shaking like crazy moments ago while something was yelling their lungs out which broke the windows of the place where I work, so... I wanted to find out what was going on"

  
  
The little dude was looking at him impassively until he started gritting his teeth, closing his eyes with a frustrated expression. Soos feared for a second that he said the wrong thing until the guy grabbed his hair and pulled it hard, very hard as if trying to make himself bald.

  
  
"Hey, don't do that, dude! You're hurting yourself!"

  
  
" **I. DON'T. CARE!** " the guy yelled which created an airwave strong enough that sent Soos' little Mr. Mystery hat to fly meters away. The new Mr. Mystery was between keep trying and running away, totally lost at what to do.

  
  
Meanwhile, Steven was fuming. Fuming completely.

  
  
Of all the things he didn't want to do, **THIS ONE** was at the top of the list.

  
  
It was bad enough that he had been ambushed and stolen by those little thieves, now his powers had to cause trouble and hurt someone else too?!

  
  
What if he had killed some innocent accidentally? What if the level of destruction was worse than what that Soos guy said it was?

  
  
_I could fix it ~~ **I can't**~~ , I have healing powers! ~~**You can't even control your powers!**~~ I didn't mean to! **~~Your mom didn't mean a lot of things and look at how many lives she ruined!~~ **I'm NOT like her!! **~~Are you?~~**_

  
  
His surroundings were getting blurry, the corners of his vision started being tainted by black. A hollow heaviness overtook him, not noticing his shoulders being grabbed firmly by Soos who sat him in the ground and looked at him, worried.

  
  
For some reason, Steven couldn't get anything that the man was saying. His body didn't feel like his own anymore and whatever words that guy was telling him sounded fainter and weirder, like some kind of ancient language.

  
  
Soos, on the other hand, was at loss. This guy was suffering a panic attack and even when he had helped some of his friends with this issue, this episode looked different and he didn't want to mess anything up. He wished he could call Tad because he was good dealing with this, but his therapist had traveled for some family business and it could take hours before he answered a call.

  
  
Soos had no option but to use what Tad had taught him. Quickly, he grabbed a little stone hidden in the grass and put it in the dude's hands, closing them so he could feel the object.

  
  
"Dude, I don't know if you can listen to me, but hear me out, feel the stone I put into your hands, ok. Feel it. Just focus on that. Nothing more. I know you can do it. Come on, feel the stone. Just focus on that"

  
  
Steven was still in another plane of existence by the look of his eyes, but slowly, his hands started caressing the stone, checking it while the neon pink covering his body stopped shining too much and went back to the core of his gem.

  
  
His breathing got to a normal level and his body relaxed even if just a bit. Then he closed his eyes tightly, both hands grasping the stone like a lifesaver.

  
  
Soos could guess that the gears of the guy's mind were turning uncontrollably, he was fighting within his head to not lose control. Maybe another gentle push would help.

  
  
"Don't rush it, dude" He said kindly "Take all the time you need"

  
  
Steven seemed to follow the instructions for his expression looked more pensive than tormented. His fingers traced circles on the little stone, he closed and opened his eyes like waking up from a deep coma.

  
  
"Is the stone smooth or sharp? Does it have dirt or is it clean?" the words coming from that Soos guy now made sense. Steven’s throat, though, was war after yelling so much but he made an effort to respond "I-It's smooth and I-I think it's circular too? There's a bit of soil c-covering it b-but it's not too much"

  
  
"That's good"

  
  
"It's cold t-too. And a bit humid... S-Sorry" Steven's head lowered in shame and worry, the pink color was starting to come back but Soos smiled at him kindly to reassure him everything was fine.

  
  
"Hey, you know, dude, I sometimes have those problems too. There is too much I need to do and I feel like I can't do anything and it's overwhelming, but it's ok even if it isn't"

  
  
"How though? How can it be?"

  
  
"Because it doesn't last. It will never last. And, if you need help, I'll be there"

  
  
That answer didn't make him smile as Soos hoped because the kid started tearing up and rubbing furiously his eyes to not show vulnerability. He was kind of familiar with that image because he had caught Mr. Pines doing that sometimes while working in the Shack as a teenager.

  
  
A tense silence loomed over them in seconds, not knowing what else to do to help the boy, Soos decided to resort to a more creative method.

  
  
He laid face up and started watching the clouds.

  
  
Steven observed perplexed and confused how the other just laid and do nothing.

  
  
Wasn't the guy scared of him? Shouldn't he be scared after witnessing Steven unable to control his powers, after the damage he caused? Or maybe he didn't believe it or was in denial. Or maybe he was just too forgiving for his own good. Steven was like that when he was a kid, now though, he wasn't so sure.

  
  
"Are you...uh...ok?"

  
  
"Yeah, dude. Just relaxing"

  
  
"Watching the sky?"

  
  
"It's fun. You can imagine a lot of shapes in the clouds. Come on, dude, give it a try"

  
  
Steven wasn’t that sure about it, but he didn't have the mood to look for those thieves or reorganize his plans for a new life, so, what else he could do?

  
  
Hesitantly and slowly, he laid face up at Soos' side, his eyes still tired focusing on the clouds who were pushed by the breeze. How he wished he could be like clouds. They did nothing, didn't worry about anything, they could just float and be directed to any place by the wind. It sounded a bit like him, though. Steven had to worry about a lot of things: save the world, protect his family, help the corrupted gems, make the schedule of Little Homeschool. It was loads and loads of work, but he felt that all those things pushed him to a direction one moment, then to another seconds later.

It was his purpose.

  
  
However, no one needed him anymore, his friends were moving on with careers and activities that made them happy, that push that once carried him here and there to help others was gone and he was...

  
  
He was aimless.

  
  
Didn't the clouds feel empty or heavy with the lack of wind to give them a little push?

  
  
"Sometimes I feel like a cloud," he thought out loud, keywords out loud because Soos heard what he said.

  
  
"Really, dude? Me too"

  
  
"Oh uh, sorry, I didn't notice I was talking instead of thinking-- wait, you too?"

  
  
"Yep, Tad said it's very, uh, what was the word again? Oh yeah, cathartic"

  
  
"Tad?"

  
  
"A friend who lives here and my therapist. He said it was a good comparison. Sometimes, people or certain things in life shape us or what we are supposed to do. All of them represent the wind that gives clouds many kinds of forms or moves them around. But then, life happens, and the wind just isn't as strong anymore or stops completely, and then the clouds just stay there. But not forever"

  
  
"Uh..." Well, that made sense, unpleasantly a big part of his life - if not to say every part- had that description. Or maybe he was just overthinking it, but a part of him felt that what Soos said showed him a harsh truth.

"Then what?" his mouth let it out without even thinking.

  
  
"Mmmm?"

  
  
"Then what happens to the clouds? You said they just stay there in the sky if the wind doesn't push them, so what are they supposed to do?"

  
  
"Well, I'm not a cloud expert, to be honest. This was just a comparison I mentioned to Tad one day, and he told me that even if we feel like clouds, we can still choose"

  
  
"Choose?"

  
  
"Yeah, I mean, we can still feel like clouds but it's not just one way, you know. We can be as light as the clouds and go anywhere the wind takes us, or we can feel heavy because we want to cry because clouds can get dark and it can rain a lot. Or we can be the wind, we can push and shape others and stop one day, or we can go anywhere we want. There are a lot of options!"

  
  
Options... That word sounded so beautiful and so far away from where he was.

  
  
"I don't know If I have options, though. Or maybe I can't reach them, they seem to get farther the more I try to catch them. Everything is moving on too fast, everyone is moving on so fast, and I'm... I'm just too slow"

  
  
Soos looked at Steven sympathetically, thinking on something to say to cheer him up.

  
  
"Hey, you know, dude, just because there are a lot of options and a lot of people can't stop being quick, it doesn't mean you have to be quick too. I mean, it's your journey, dude. If you want to be fast, be fast. Want to go slow? Be slow. Want to take a break? Then take a break. It's up to you. No one or nothing should make you feel as if your pace is wrong"

  
  
"And what if it's not about them? What if I am the problem?"

  
  
"You know, Tad told me this when I asked him the same thing: the problem is not you, it's how you perceive and tackle something. The best way to not feel overwhelmed is by accepting things as how they are. Some things are fixable--"

  
  
Ugh, again with that word!

  
  
"--, others aren't, and the rest doesn't need to be fixed. And yeah, it takes time to accept that because not everyone will or will be happy about it, but don't rush it. Just go on your own pace and don't burn yourself out. That’s life; it's not a contest"

  
  
"Not a contest..." Steven muttered too low for the other to hear.

  
  
The clouds above him seemed so peaceful whether they were pushed by the wind or just stayed there, quiet. If they could talk, what would they say? Would they be happy without something moving them, shaping them? Or would it be better if there wasn't any wind at all?

  
  
And what about the wind? Would it be happy pushing the clouds forever to here and there? Or would it want to go wherever he liked?

  
  
Was he a cloud or the wind?

  
  
 _Great_ , he grimaced, _now I have an existential crisis about clouds and breezes of air_. This would take a while, wouldn’t he?

  
  
But his new companion told him that it was his journey, his decision. It was his own pace, so...

  
  
Well, now that he wasn't in Beach City and no one needed him anymore maybe he might give this advice a shot with his new life. I mean, what could go wrong, right?

  
  
"It's my own pace... You know, that doesn't sound so bad"

  
  
"Happy to help you, dude"

  
  
"Yeah, thanks, uuuhhh, Zoos right?"

  
  
"Soos" the gopher-like man corrected him "With S both starting and at the end"

  
  
"Well, thank you, Soos"

  
  
"Of course, dude. Oh! There's one more thing"

  
  
"Yeah?"

  
  
"Yep. Welcome to Gravity Falls!"


	2. Let's start again, shall we?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven meets new faces and is given an invitation.  
> Warning: dissociation.

Wendy was at a crossroads. Well, that sounded a bit overdramatic but she wouldn't care anyway after the shriek incident, still, she was at a crossroads.

Soos hadn't come back yet and she was fearing his friend has gotten himself into trouble while looking for the thing who destroyed the windows, the souvenirs, and the light bulb. Oh! And let's not forget about the S letter of Shack too, because it fell minutes after Soos went to the forest.

To say she was worried was an understatement, Wendy has faced a lot of dangerous things: the Shapeshifter, some teenager-hating ghosts, the Society of the Blind Eye, Gideon while he worked for Bill Cipher, Bill Cipher itself and his Weirdmaggedon. You name it, but it's not that it has left her head, hasn't it? There were the worry, the fear, and the many haunting memories that haven't let her go.

So, yeah, being in the Shack and go looking for Soos were her two options, though there was also the alternative of calling Ford and Stan, but they were still in the sea and wouldn't return to Gravity Falls until next week. There was also the option of trusting Soos because even if he wasn't the brightest person in the world, he was really smart when the time was needed and if he could survive Weirdmaggedon, this would be easy peasy. She hoped so.

Suddenly, the sound of a vehicle coming closer to the Shack was heard. It wasn't from a stranger's car, though, Wendy could recognize it even miles away. Soos was back.

The redhead teenager got out of the Shack and saw her friend's truck getting out of the woods. Sighing in relief, she also noticed that someone was accompanying Soos. It was a boy one or two years younger than her, that and the fact that the truck was tied to a very damaged car.

Well, this was expected and unexpected at the same time. Wendy knew Soos would help someone in need, he was always very friendly, but it worried her that the shrieking monsters has hurt someone else.

"Hey, dude!" Soos greeted her after parking his truck and him and the boy got out. Now that she was closer to the two, Wendy saw how exhausted and on edge the kid was and, wait, was it she or the boy's cheeks were getting too pink?

Whatever. That would be for later.

"Soos, thank goodness you're here. I've been worried sick about you. That thing is still somewhere screaming at the top of its lungs, you were taking too long, and-- wait, is he glowing pink?" She pointed to Steven who was, indeed, glowing pink as if he was a living signboard.

Soos immediately put both hands on Steven's shoulders to comfort him, "Dude, hey, it's ok. I told you before, it was just a mistake"

Unfortunately, it backfired.

"It wasn't. Just. A mistake!!" he yelled, the ground shaking a bit because of his powers "I mean, the fissures, the trembles, anything that I caused today could have hurt you! How can you just sugarcoat it?!"

"Wait, wait, YOU did all of this?!" Wendy's sudden question just put more fuel to the fire because in seconds his body puffed up as if he were a pufferfish and deflated a bit later much to his horror and the others' shock.

"Oooookaaaayyyyy, so..." Wendy didn't know how to intervene without rising more tension "Can someone tell me what is going on? Soos, you say that you were looking for a creature that provoked the shaking and the powerful shriek, then you come back with this kid and his beaten-up car and he's glowing pink, and he even said that he was responsible for this. It's too confusing"

"He... Uh... He has just problems with his powers, but it's ok--"

"It's not!" Steven yelled, fed up with the excuses. "Soos, look around you! When you met me I was out of control, I couldn't get a hold of my powers, the windows of your house are broken, you could've gotten hurt, your friend could've gotten hurt, and-- Did that red, big S fell from the roof?"

Wendy and Soos glanced at the huge S of Shack, "Yeah... It did minutes after Soos left" she mumbled.

"See?! So, how can you be so laid-back around me after what I've done?!"

Soos ran his fingers through his hair, of course, he knew this wasn't ok but the blame game wasn't his strongpoint or something he liked to do "Dude, can I ask you something?"

Steven shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose "Ugh... What now?"

"Did you want to hurt someone with your powers?"

"What?!" Steven looked at him as if he were nuts "Of course, not! Do you really think that?!"

"No, just asking. So, you didn't mean to. Did you plan to do it?"

"No"

"Do you feel bad about it?"

"Of course, I do! It's not that I was having fun endangering people's lives!"

"And do you acknowledge that what you did was wrong even if you didn't mean to, right?"

"Yes, because it wouldn't be fair to just say 'Hey, look at the bright side, at least you weren't smashed by a monster or something', but no! Whether I tell you it's not a big deal and pretend it never happened or acknowledge the fact that I screwed up, you were still hurt!"

"But you feel truly sorry, you admit that mistake and don't want to do that again, right?"

Steven sighed heavily "It's the least I can do"

"Well, that's it. Dude, I know some people who don't feel any remorse or try to fix their mistakes if they hurt others. But even when we barely met today, I know you aren't like them. You feel bad about what you did, and instead of saying 'Hey, no big dealie, let's forget about it', you completely accepted that it was your fault. Not everyone can make those steps, many people prefer to avoid them, but not you. Besides, just because you couldn't control your powers once it doesn't mean you are a bad person. I mean, I make messes a lot of times, but that's normal, right? No one can be perfect. What matters is that you admit your mistake and are willing to do something to change. But don't beat yourself so much, dude. If you let your mistakes put you down, you will never move on. It's better if you accept them as a way of learning, not a punishment"

Uh... Well, that made sense. In fact, it reminded him of something he told Pearl time ago.

_I'm gonna be him in this play! But he's totally boring! He's perfect and he never makes mistakes._

_Wish I could say the same for myself..._

_Yeah, but nobody's like that! Everybody gets stuff wrong, and then you have to keep going and it's hard, which is why it's great when you never stop trying!_

He never stopped trying, didn't he? But it was harder now than those times when Steven was still a child. Back then, he didn’t have to deal with heavy truths about mom, he could have fun and make jokes, it was easier, and getting up after failing didn't hurt so much like today.

When it stopped being easy for him, though? When people seemed to do better without his help or when he screwed up more and more?

"I don't know what to do" He mumbled desperately.

"You don't have to know right now, dude. Being willing to make amends is enough"

"I guess so... Maybe..." Steven laughed and rubbed his eyes, the moisture becoming overwhelming for his vision "Y-You know, what you said moments ago was kind of the same of what I told a friend of mine. Maybe I forgot to try without being too harsh on myself. B-But still, I don't know how much damage I caused, and that scares me. What if it's worse than I or you thought? How could I fix it then?"

"Do you want to find out?"

"I can't just put everything under a rug. I know someone who had that bad habit and it backfired" _Like my mom, for example_ , Steven thought bitterly but kept it to himself.

"Well, maybe once you're ready, we can show you around to see how everyone is doing, right, Wendy?"

Wendy jumped a bit for the surprise, too focused on Steven's broken Dondai to listen to what Soos and Steven were talking about. "Uh, what?"

"Just asking if you wanted to tour-- Eh, sorry, dude, what was your name? I never asked you about it"

"Steven Universe. But just call me Steven"

"Ok. If you wanted to give Steven a tour with me, dude"

"Maybe later, man. Hey, Steven, right?" Steven nodded when she addressed him "Mind to tell me what the heck happened to your car?"

"It's a...very long and unbelievable story. Especially the unbelievable part"

"Trust me, I've dealt with that hundred of times"

"Well, the short version is that I was ambushed by a group of-- no, not a group but an army of tiny bearded men with pointy hats that even have the guts to throw my car with me inside of it! Almost killing me!"

"Jesus Christ! The gnomes?!" Wendy exclaimed horrified.

"Uh, what?"

"The gnomes! Tiny men, bearded, pointy hats, live in the forest and have a big stomach for being so small"

"Wait, you know them?"

"Gravity Falls forest is their home, dude. That and the townsfolk is used to them, well, unless some can't remember because they are still mind-wiped by the Society of the Blind Eye but we took care of them last year" Soos explained.

Steven, meanwhile was in blank, like that time when he saw a Rose Quartz that looked exactly like mom, overflowed by terror and shock of the weirdness his new acquaintances were talking about.

What kind of coo-coo bananas of town he got himself into?

"Hey, Steven, man. Earth to Steven. Can you hear us?" Wendy waved a hand in front of him repeatedly, then snapped her fingers some times until his trance was broken and he fell, butt to the ground while massaging his temples.

"Steven, dude, is something wrong?"

The boy looked at Soos and Wendy, shaking his head seconds later.

"Is something wrong? I mean, you talked about hungry gnomes and a group that wipes people's minds and you are asking ME what is wrong?!"

"Too much to handle, uh?" Wendy commented.

"You say it as if it's normal" Steven didn’t want to sound snappy or sarcastic, but he couldn't help it, that information was a bomb and they were taking it too lightly.

"Well, not really, man. The gnomes, they are always in the forest minding their own business and only get out of there to steal food. The Society of the Blind Eye was hidden from everyone until Soos, me, Dipper, and Mabel discovered them and kicked their butts. And trust me, that is just the tip of the iceberg"

"Then it's better to leave it like that, I guess" Steven mumbled, still disoriented with those revelations. Soos lent his hand and he took it to get up.

"Wanna do something else or you wanna see the town, dude?"

"Maybe hanging out here for a while might help me, if you don't mind"

"Of course! Let's go" Soos then ran to the front of the Shack to start his performance. "Welcome, Steven, to the Mystery Shack! A museum of greatness and weirdness for your eyes to be delighted" The door was opened and Steven wowed, surprised at the strange but kind of charismatic exhibitions.

Some of them were weirder than the others, like a statue made of corn that looked like a horse.

"This is the cornicorn! Beautiful, right?"

"Not bad," He said, smiling.

Every statue, monster, or supernatural picture reminded him of Lapis art studio and her meep morps. Then his memory trip sent him to the day, on that planet, watching how Lapis used her hydrokinesis in an artistic way in front of the two Lapises they were trying to convince to stop terraform. He bet she would like this place and even tried to contribute. A bitter longing got stuck into his throat as a lump, but he shook it quickly before it got worse.

Then he saw the dissected body of a monkey glued to the lower half of a fish, positioned in a pedestal with a little letter that said 'Primitive Mermaid'. "Uuuuuhhhh, hey Soos, you didn't hunt a poor monkey for your exhibitions, right?"

"That monkey maybe was stolen in a rare antique shop by Mr. Pines, man," Wendy told him.

"Stolen? And who's Mr. Pines? The owner of this house?"

"Our former boss, he put Soos in charge of the Shack. He and his brother live here"

"So, they are the ones who created all these exhibitions?"

Wendy laughed loudly at that. Oh if he knew about Ford's reaction when he saw the shack and every change made by Stan.

"Steven, buddy, those two have different ideas about the supernatural. Mr. Pines just see money-tickets in every idea he has, but he'd rather have a huge fence to prevent the gnomes or any monster of the forest to approach the Shack. And his brother, well he's like a weirdness scientist, and every time he brought a monster at the house or a sample of it, it got out of control and then someone had to clean the mess. Soos, man, remember that time when Ford brought that silver egg he found in an old nest in the woods and days later a swamp dragon came out of it?"

"Yeah! Mr. Pines wanted it to be an exhibition but then Dr. Pines told him that he wanted to take some tests on it and Mabel told them it was just a baby and decided to raise him"

"Wait, so, you guys have a baby dragon as a pet?!" And Steven thought he was the only one with a magical animal companion.

"Just for a bit of time, dude. The little guy grew up pretty fast and one day it ate Mr. Pines' car wheels. Oh, wait, I have a photo of it" Soos grabbed his cellphone from a pocket and looked for some pictures of the creature then he showed them to Steven.

The first one was of the baby swamp dragon in its adult phase. It was two times bigger than Stanley's car, muscular, with shiny black scales that were dotted by multiple red ones, it also had membranes in its paws. It didn't have wings or maybe they were hidden, he wasn't so sure, the huge animal was munching on a wheel peacefully while stopping Stan with one of its paws from bothering it during lunchtime. The next picture showed the dragon as a baby, the same black and red scales, it was the size of an adult dog and a brown-haired girl had it in her arms, smiling motherly at the creature.

"Awwwww! It's so cute!" Steven gushed, again the memory trip on his mind sent him to a time when he used to play with Lion or record videos with the pink big cat. His favorite was Lion playing with any kind of boxes, a bittersweet smile was painted on his face. He wondered if Lion missed him and what he was doing at these moments. Maybe or maybe not, but that didn't mean that Steven missed his furry friend any less as with the others. Though this was the best for everyone, no use to be that overdramatic, it's not that he is dead or something. Still, not knowing how his family and friends were doing hurt. And the happy memories he had with them didn't help either. Before his eyes became huge waterfalls in front of Soos and Wendy, Steven decided to talk again.

"So... uh, what did you do with the dragon? Did you keep it?" 

"No, Ford wanted to keep it to make some test on it but it was too big to fit in the Shack, that and Mabel wasn't so happy with the idea. In the end, her, Dipper, Ford, and Stan bid it farewell. The dragon was a grown-up already so it could take care of himself" Wendy explained. Watching a bit beyond her shoulder, Steven could see two pictures framed in an old, classic molding.

One was of a rock statue of a man with a long, abundant beard, in a pose of a brave explorer, his right foot on a rock and his gaze determined as if he was on a heroic mission. The other picture was of the same man, but it looked more, well, funnier was the best term Steven could think about or maybe absurd, yeah absurd was much better to describe it. He was dressed not like an explorer in the former picture, but as if he was a farmer. Instead of the heroic pose, there was a pile of animal poop and the man was holding a shovel to pick it up.

OK, ewww...

"What are those pictures about?"

"Some gifts from Pacifica. Just a way to get at her parents and try to show the true colors of her family"

"Pacifica?"

"Just the richest and most popular girl in the town, or should I say _former_?" Wendy made emphasis in the last word while putting quotation marks on it with her fingers, a huge smirk in her face. "Pfffft, hahahahaha! You should've seen it, dude! When Pacifica found out she wasn't going to get another pony because her family was in total bankrupt after making a stupid deal with Cipher that went wrong, she completely freaked out. Hahaha! It was so funny!"

"I kind of feel bad of her" Soos commented while playing with his fingers "I mean, yeah she wasn't kind with any of us, especially with Mabel, but if Mabel could forgive her, then we should too, right?"

"You know Mabel is too forgiving for her own good, man"

"So, that girl Pacifica and this man of the pictures are like related?" Steven asked.

"Let me give you the introduction, dude" Soos coughed a bit and put himself to the side of the exhibition for another performance "This, over here is the most nefarious, tragic, humiliating and--and-- Hehe, sorry, I forgot a little part" Soos searched in his pockets and grabbed a piece of paper, after giving a long look, he continued "Ok, got it. Where was I? Oh yeah. The most nefarious, tragic, humiliating, and not so uncommon truth this rich but corrupt family had been hiding for generations of generations. Over here, Steven, is Nathaniel Northwest, Pacifica's great-great-grandfather. Or as people in Gravity Falls is calling him Nathaniel 'Liar' Northwest. He was believed to be the founder of the town and was a very respected man, but what no one knew is that he was just a smelly farmer who picked cows poop and also an idiot. The real founder of the town was Quentin Trembley, a very peculiar and silly politician" Then Soos leaned a for towards Steven as if to share with him a secret "Actually, Quentin is the 8 and a half President of United States but no one should know because the government doesn't want anyone to know because they didn't like him for being too silly"

"So, they didn't want Quentin to be the founder of the town--"

"And mayor too" Soos added.

"And mayor too, so a waste shoveling fool was their best option?" Steven didn’t know if laugh or raise an eyebrow for how absurd the story was.

"That's how politics work, man" Wendy opined "They always complicate things just to save their own faces"

"Ha, yeah. I'm very familiar with that, too much to be exact"

How he couldn't when for the last 2 years he had been immersed into gem politics, making sure the dismantling of the whole gempire went smoothly, that gems who worked as servants or low-class builders like Pearls and Bismuths could be free and find their own identities, that the shattering of off-colors and open-minded gems stopped, that the concept of fusion could be respected and gems could fuse with the ones they love and trust, that no more colonizations were planned and no more life was destroyed.

Freedom, equality, and happiness for every gem no matter the kind.

It was exhausting.

And don't make him start about how uncomfortable and awkward he felt around the Diamonds, because that was the worst part. No wait, being around White was the truly worst part.

He didn't know how to feel about her. Having meetings with Blue and Yellow felt lighter and easier, White was another set of news, though. Steven couldn't say that he hated her, but that he has forgiven her already wasn't right either.

Even with her attempts at conversation and her hard work in being more sociable and kinder with other gems, Steven still felt like a bug in front of her.

A bug squished between her fingers, her eyes set upon him like a predator ready to devour its prey, the long, sharp, black nails approaching his core, his other half, bloodthirsty like the Devil itself.

**Closer, closer, closer...**

"Hey, Steven, are you listening?" 

**White was coming, Death was coming, White was coming, Death was coming, White was coming, Death was coming**

"Steven"

**White was coming, Death was coming, White was coming, Death was coming, White was coming, Death was coming**

"Hey, man!"

**No escape, no escape, no escape, it's gone, he's gone, it's gone, he's gone, no escape, no escape, no escape, it's gone, he's gone, it's gone, he's gone**

"Dude, can you hear us?!"

**Connie, _ ~~Steven. Steven, please.~~_ Connie was in danger, ~~_Steven, wake up._~~ Connie was there, ~~_Look at me! Please._~~ the Gems, minds wiped, mind control, control, he has no control, where is he?**

**He needs it, he needs it, he needs it, he needs it!**

Suddenly, Steven's fingers felt something cool and plain. It was light and a bit crumpled. But there was some humidity too.

Humidity?

He choked a bit and coughed, the salty taste of his own tears still lingering on his tongue. Opening his eyes, Steven found himself back to a wall, seated, with both Soos and Wendy in front of him, worried and even afraid.

"W-What happened?" He couldn't notice yet, but his body was shining in that pinkish color and felt heavy, too heavy.

"You kind of dissociated"

"K-Kind of what?" Everything around him was so dizzy.

"It means that you weren't responding at all, dude. And it didn't look pretty at all. Mind if I ask what happened?"

Steven looked again at their concerned faces and rubbed at his eyes not only to rid of the remaining tears but also the horrifying memories.

"No... I don't want to" He mumbled and the other two accepted it despite their worries.

Then a big grumble-like sound took them by surprise. It repeated again and when Steven looked down at his stomach he put two and two together after watching it move a bit while grumbling.

_Perfect, first I worry them and now this!_ The boy thought miserably.

"Want a glass of water, dude?" Was the only thing Soos could say then.

//////////////////

There was tension in the air, Steven felt it. He didn't know why - or maybe he didn't want to think about it- but Soos and Wendy were being really strange right now. 

No fear, no trepidation or uneasy smiles, just a silence in which both could communicate with each other about his little scene.

He hated it! His start in this town was being a complete disaster and no, he didn’t want to imagine how the place looked like after his shriek.

Even if Soos told him that it's ok to make mistakes, that didn't mean that he should endanger others. At least, he should deserve a scolding or something but they didn't give him that. Wendy was just taking care of the remnants of the broken windows while Soos gave him a bit of water to calm down.

"Why aren't you mad at me?" He asked. Well, that wasn’t his intention but his mind decided to be loud.

"Uh, why should we?" Wendy responded with another question.

"Because of the scene I made. Besides, maybe it was worse than that. What if I yelled and destroyed something? Or what if I scared you and both of you are trying to keep it buried because you don't want to deal with another reaction and--"

"Ok, stop your car right there, Steven" The redhead teenager's eyes were serious in a deadpan expression "Look, maybe you think you're the only one who has dissociated but that's not true, ok? I have, Soos has, many people I know have because we... Well, long story short, we've been through hell, literally a year ago, so coping with trauma whether on your own or in front of others is normal. Not that it should be, because who would want to face something dangerous? But, anyway, the point is that there is nothing to be mad about with you. Honestly, I have things I don't want to remember because they're hurtful and scary, and whatever you have been through must have been really fucked up to react that way. So, what happened before is not something you should be ashamed of"

"I couldn't control my powers before because I was angry after being attacked by gnomes, and because of that you have to clean this mess" Steven argued.

"Meh, it's part of life and I make a lot of messes. Look, what happened, happened. Punishing you won't change anything and you don't seem like the kind of guy who deserves something like that"

"You don't know me" Steven mumbled "Maybe I deserve it because for a long time I wanted to make things better for everyone and now I'm just old news and keep screwing up. Or maybe I deserve it because I should be better with my powers and instead I'm back to square one as if I hadn't learned anything at all. Or maybe I deserve it because...because..."

"Because?" Wendy asked a bit curious about Steven’s answer.

"Or maybe because I can't forgive myself about this like with other things. I feel like a disaster and even I acted like one"

Ah, there it was. The self-loathing and guilt and inadequacy, a friend of hers showed her that in the most painful and shocking way but still they couldn't talk with each other because of the somber surprise that she had felt back then.

And her other friends hadn't told her anything about it: one being unaware and then as confused as her when he was informed and the other with his lips closed, to prevent a bigger scandal.

And the explanation was still in the air, very close but very elusive. Too bad the adults weren't any help either.

Of course, Wendy could threaten them with an ax for answers because a friend of hers was doing something she shouldn't but it might make things worse and create a rift between them.

Still, she really wanted to know so she could help. With Steven, on the other hand, she had no idea what he has been through but the redhead teenager wasn't a fool. The tired posture, the despair in his eyes, the loss of control, and pain barely held back. Yeah, it was like watching her friend again that day, but maybe she may help with this guy.

"Listen, man, even if we punished you, we wouldn't gain anything. And yeah, I don't know you and Soos either, we are trying to get to know each other, but if Soos is befriending you and is willing to trust you then that should mean that you're not that bad as you think you are, right?"

"Are you trying to cheer me up till the next day? Me? A stranger with powers?"

"Duh! Of course, man! Don't you know you deserve it? It is called not judging a book for its cover or something like that"

_Have you been trying to cheer me up this whole time?_

_Yesss...! Geez... Don't you know you deserve it? You... Great... Person?_

Steven then laughed. Laughed joylessly and then with more energy than he thought he had and even if Wendy labeled him as crazy, he wouldn't have cared.

This town... For some reason, this place reminded him of home or maybe it was his mind that couldn't get used to a change of environment, and still, it didn't feel as if he were haunted by a ghost, it was more of a relief.

A part of him was wondering if that meant that his new start in this place wasn't as ruined as he imagined. Well, he would have to stay here for a bit longer to find out.

"T-Thanks," He told Wendy after finishing laughing "Thank you, Wendy. I'm still not sure but, it made me feel better, a bit but it worked. Thank you"

"No worries, man. Good that got some hahaha from you"

Steven smiled, a bit more relaxed. Then, the door to the exhibition room was opened, revealing an excited Soos who approached him.

"Dude, I have great news!"

"Really?" He felt dread course through his veins, unsure of why.

"Yeah! So, I called to Sheriff Bluff to know how everyone was doing and even, well, you know, ask him about your big, powerful shriek" Steven flinched at that, oh so that's why he was dreadful "Hey, don't worry, the good news is that even with the broken lights and windows no one got hurt. Seriously, no one! And things are being repaired right now, so, we can go to tour you through the town and even take you to Greasy Dinner because you really need to eat, Steven dude. You look like you had been starving for days"

OK, no, that was an exaggeration. Honestly, he didn’t have the mood to eat when he was on the road, and even when his stomach argued with him, Steven shut it up because he didn't have the time for that.

But now, with how painfully insistent it was...

"Are you sure everyone is ok there?"

"Yes, completely, absolutely. So, what do you say?"

Soos kind smile and his tummy trying to imitate Godzilla's roar were tempting in the invitation, but something was still wrong.

What if he messed up again? What if his powers got out of control and hurt someone? What if something was truly wrong with him to not relax or feel safe anymore?

"Hey, dude, if you don't wanna go, that's fine. It's just an invitation, though not the only one"

"Not the only one?" He asked warily.

"Well, the thing is, after the crazy things that happened to you while entering Gravity Falls, it should be better if you experience something more normal to take it easy. So, my second invitation is to come to my home where I live with my Abuelita and have dinner with us and sleep in my old room. As a change of pace"

"You-You're inviting me to your house?"

"Yep"

"With you and your family"

"Yep"

"To have dinner and rest"

"Exactly, dude" Soos kept smiling amiably.

Meanwhile, Steven was lost. Since he left Beach City, he was desperate for a new start where he could feel ok again. The hurt and disappointment after the Little Graduation and the CactusSteven incident were still fresh in his mind, making him feel like a pariah like he didn't belong anywhere and now, after the gnomes' ambush and the danger his powers had caused, someone - Soos in this case- wanted him to feel like home in a new place, feel better and even gave him a chance despite the chaos he caused.

The gopher-like man was even offering him a more normal closure to this day, in his house with his family, with a meal and a soft bed.

It was too much! He didn't deserve it!

Since when a stranger decided to open their arms to Steven?

_Didn't you do the same with your friends though?_ A voice asked him.

It was true, though.

Peridot came to Earth and even when she was the enemy, Steven believed she could change her ways after watching the beauty of the planet. He even offered her his help and friendship and it worked. She became a Crystal Gem through and through.

Lapis despised the Earth and was reminded of every horrible thing she suffered there, but Steven lent her a hand to get used to her new home and start to like it.

Bismuth was new to all the changes after being unbubbled, enraged, and hurt because of mom, but Steven, again, lent his hand to help her overcome this and truly reunite with the Crystal Gems.

All of them had made mistakes, tried to kill him, were confused and lost, and he still told them there was a place on Earth for them to start again. So, if they had that opportunity why shouldn't he?

_Why shouldn't I?_ Steven thought and still, no answer came to his mind. He needed to know why should he deserve it.

"Soos... I..." He tried to find the words but his tongue was stuck and his mind was like a blank slate "I don't know what to say. I mean, don't take it wrong, you've been very kind to me but I feel that you are being too nice. Too nice for someone whose powers could've caused so much destruction and you still don't look at me as if I'm some freak. I can't even understand it despite having done the same thing for others. Besides, I don't want to wreak havoc again and hurt someone you love, I don't want to make you feel as if you have made a huge mistake" Steven sighed, still lost with all these options before continuing "If I say no, then what?"

"Well, as I said before, it's an invitation so it's ok if you say no. Besides, I can still borrow you a room, there is one in the Shack where I usually sleep, you can stay there for the night while I go to my old one"

"And if I said yes but the same mess happened?"

"If you have a panic attack or start to dissociate, Abuelita or I will know and help you get through it. Trust me, dude, she has experience because she helped me along with Tad. But, in the end, whether you accept my invitation or not, that's up to you"

Steven's mind gears worked hard with all this information. If he said no, he could still have a place to stay for the night right here in the Shack which wasn't so bad because the house was far away from people and he wouldn't cause trouble, but the same house was damaged because of him. On the other hand, if he said yes, he would go either to the town to eat with Soos or to his house where his family lived and have a more normal start. That was good and he really was hungry. The cons, though, were that if his powers got out of control he may hurt someone and let Soos down and he had enough of that already. But wait, Soos never said that Steven could put conditions if he accepted the invitation, so maybe he could say yes but keep the others safe from him.

"Ok, I'll accept the second invitation" Soos' smile got bigger and was going to say something until Steven raised a hand "BUT with a few conditions if that is allowed" the gopher-like man was surprised about that but didn't say anything "My conditions are that if my powers go haywire and nor you or your Abuelita can help me, then both of you will have to stay very far away to not get hurt and not approach me unless I'm safe enough to be approached. Those are the only conditions I have and I want you to follow them just to make sure you and your family are ok"

"What about you, dude?"

"I'll see what I can do, but you know already what are my conditions"

To say that Soos was a bit uncomfortable was saying little, it's not that he wasn't aware of how powerful Steven was despite barely knowing him, but he kind of felt that Steven was treating himself as if he were a monster or something worse and the boy wasn't any of that. Also, the little dude was putting too much effort into taking care of him and his Abuelita and it's not that he didn't appreciate it, but what about Steven? Shouldn't he take care of himself too?

Maybe it was just stress, yeah, with a day or two free of incidents he will get better.

"Alright, Steven, if that's what you want then we'll do it"

Steven sighed in relief.

//////////////////////////

Abuelita's house was like a slap to the face for Universe in any sense of the concept of home.

The family photographs, the motherly affection Soos' grandmother showed him, the comfy sofa and even the room with toys and videogames made him feel like he was in his own bed again playing Lonely Blade with Amethyst or watching Pearl cook breakfast, heck, even the time when he played seek and hide with Garnet and fell to her square-like afro hair.

Too many memories, but he couldn't let them see the corner of his eyes full of tears especially due to the sweet smell that came out of the pan that was another reminder about that time when dad bought him a cake for his seventh birthday.

"Here there are, boys. A salad of pasta and spinach covered with melting cheese and steaks, and for dessert a piece of lemon pie, but first eat the entry and carefully. It's pretty hot. Don't leave anything, mijo" Abuelita looked at Steven lovingly "You must have a will of steel to stop your own stomach from eating you, but don't take it too far. Young boys need to eat".

"T-Thanks, Mrs. Ramírez" Steven smiled.

"Oh, I almost forgot, we have to thank. So hands together, please" Soos put the palm of his hands together and interlaced his fingers. Steven did the same "Dear God, thank you for this delicious dinner and having the family here reunited. Thank you for this new member of the family too, Steven. Please, protect him and guide him throughout his life. Amen"

After Abuelita finished, Soos continued "Dear God, thank you for giving me the chance to make a new friend, Steven" Are they praying for me? Steven thought flabbergasted "I don't know what are his plans for the future, but whatever they are, please, give him a hand whenever he feels lost and shower him with praises and hope because everyone deserves that. And thank you for this great meal too. Amen"

Then silence...

...

...

...

Oh darn! Was it his turn now?

"Uuuuhhhh" _What should I say?!_ "I don't know what to say exactly?" Steven facepalmed mentally. That was exactly what he didn't want them to know. He didn't want to sound impolite or something.

"It's ok, mijo. You can pray in your mind or say what you think as long as it is respectful to God"

_Well, I'm not the religious type_. Steven mused, but this was to be grateful and a part of him was really grateful despite the fears and worries.

"Ok," He sighed and conjured his best words. If he could make a commercial for thousands of millions of gems for them to come to Little Homeschool, then this wouldn’t be so difficult, right? "Dear God, this day has been so far--" Dangerous, exhausting, an utter shit! No, wait, what if God got mad at him for swearing, but would He get madder if Steven wasn't totally honest? No, no, Universe, don't ramble "difficult, really difficult. It has been hard for me to try to see the bright side or outweigh the negative of today... But, you know, maybe that's fine because" Then he looked at Soos "because a good friend I made this day, Soos, has told me that it's ok even if it isn't. That there are things you can do and things you can't...fix. But it is my journey. And as the owner of that journey, I can decide if I want to go fast or take my own time. So, thanks. Thank you for that advice, for letting me know about it by knowing Soos. I kind of feel better now. And also, thanks for dinner. Amen"

"Oh, one more thing. Soos, Mrs. Ramírez, thank you...for this"

The other two smiled as response and dinner started.

//////////////////////

Steven couldn't sleep. Not that he wasn't tired because he was. Today had become one of the most tiring days of his life. He was ambushed and almost killed by an army of gnomes, his powers go crazy because he was angry and that could've hurt someone, and he made two friends too.

Well, he didn’t know if he could count Wendy as a friend even when she was cool and relaxed around him despite being shocked about Steven as the responsible of the trembles and the shriek. But he also had Soos and how kind he was which was more than he deserved and it made him wonder if he was worthy of it.

Anyway, he was here now, in Soos' old room, on his bed, and with a full stomach, but his mind wanted to be busy even when the rest of his body screamed for a rest.

There was, however, a single question that didn't leave him well alone: after this day what he would do?

He had money but not so much to start again AND fix the mess he had caused today. Dad always gave him all the money he wanted or needed, but he never was the money-hoarding kind of guy nor he would try to contact his dad to get more because if he did, Greg would ask him where he was or call the Gems and it would be a mess. Heck, what if dad called Connie? But she was busy with studies so maybe she hasn't been informed about him leaving yet.

Still, how he was going to fix this if he didn't have enough? Maybe...

Ugh! His head hurt and his eyes were bloodshot with so many days without sleeping. He would figure out something tomorrow.

Steven covered himself with the covers of the bed, getting comfortable with the foreign feeling of a warm room that wasn’t his own.

Things were really changing, uh?

He just hoped the next day it was better.


	3. The wonders and cons of a weird childhood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven finds out he's not the only one too young and with too much power to handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is, chapter 3! Sorry for the long wait, guys! Inspiration decided to just help with another of my fanfics instead of this, so it took me more time to get the ideas I needed to complete the chapter. Har har har, so funny you are, inspiration (sarcasm)!  
> Ah well, enjoy!

As strange as it seemed when Steven woke up it wasn't with the mood touching the ground and a heaviness stuck to his every move. In fact, he felt lighter than ever before.

Maybe it was the food or the fact that he had taken a rest from the craziness of yesterday -who knew?- but his insides weren't full of dread like the other day. So, starting again wasn't going to be that hard.

Though something told him that this lack of anxiety was calmer before the storm than anything; for some reason he doubted it.

He got up from the bed and order the sheets calmingly while humming a song until someone knocked on the door of the room.

"Steven, hun, can I come in?" Mrs. Ramírez was on the other side of the door, holding a silver tray with some sandwiches and a mug full of warm milk.

"Just a moment, please" Steven ordered the room and changed to his clothes from yesterday before opening the door "G-Good morning, Mrs. Ramírez. Is something wrong?" the old lady shook her head in a no and showed him the food.

"Breakfast, honey. Also, Soos went to The Shack, though he asked me to tell you that once he had some free time, he could give you a tour of the whole town"

"Oh man, that's not necessary" the teenager scratched the back of his neck awkwardly "Besides, maybe people are still wondering who or what the heck caused so much trouble" Just remembering his huge outburst made him feel nauseous.

"People here are more used to a bit of craziness in their lives than anyone, trust me. Now, do you want to eat in the dining room or Soos' room?"

"Here, I guess. If you don't mind" Abuelita smiled kindly and gave him the tray before going back to the kitchen.

Now that he was left alone, Steven started musing about what to do this and the next days if he was really going to make it on his own in a new environment with new people.

Or course it wouldn't be the same as being on Homeworld for 2 years and having non-existent contact with humans. Before he had a purpose and his hard work with the Diamonds gave all the dismantled gempire an era of freedom and peace where they could decide what to do with their lives. It was exhausting, yeah, but at least there was a plan and he followed it through.

This time, though, the planning was out of the window, something he wasn't very happy with. Apart from that, it was concerning the scale of damage his powers had caused during his outburst and he wasn't that sure that no one had gotten hurt even if Soos told him everyone was alright.

Well, he could use what was left of his money to compensate the townsfolk of Gravity Falls, but then he would be stuck. No money means no way to advance or get what's necessary unless he had a job, but what kind of job would be adequate for him?

The only thing he knew to do was helping people and be there for them, and using his powers to fill his pockets didn't sound like the most responsible option.

Steven was so lost at that. What if there was no job to sustain him or where he might be good enough to not be a burden? He couldn't just keep all the money for himself to survive when there were a lot of people who went through worse because of him.

Maybe asking for one in the Mystery Shack or in any other place in the town could give him an idea.

No wait, that's it! If he worked for Soos or someone the guy knew, then Steven could start gaining enough to fix his mistakes in the town and then save the rest to rent a room if there was a motel. It would be slow, obviously, but it was better than nothing.

_'Isn't that asking for too much?'_ a voice suddenly asked which froze Steven's thoughts in an instant.

Is it too much to ask Soos for a job? Maybe or maybe not...

No, actually, he was really kind and would give him any kind of task in the Shack willingly, but Steven didn't want to be that demanding, not after his new friend invited him to his house to have a tasty meal.

The hybrid sighed. They would have to make a deal that benefits everyone.

Getting up from bed again, Steven took the silver tray and went to the kitchen.

Abuelita was reading the newspaper after having cleaned the place and hearing Steven putting the tray and the mug on the sink made her turned around to him.

"Oh, there you are, Steven! I wanted to ask you if you were planning to do something today. My memory is not that good as other times, so, I forgot to tell you that Soos had left a note for you with the addresses of the many places of Gravity Falls you might wanna see"

Before he could reply, she gave him a piece of paper with Soos' handwriting. The list of places to go wasn't that long: community school, the mall, Greasy's Diner, Mystery Shack, the lake, McGucket's mansion, the library.

'Well, this might be my lucky day. Now I don't have to look for places to find a job' he mused while getting up. "I think this is my cue, Mrs. Ramírez. Thank you for the breakfast, by the way. Once I washed these things I will give myself a little tour" _I just hope not to snap again_ , he deliberately omitted.

The old woman nodded and continued reading the newspaper.

The teenager could read some bits and pieces of the most important news, especially the one he was responsible for which made him a bit nervous, but if he found a job quickly, then it would be easier to repair the damage while turning for a new page more easily.

After bidding Abuelita goodbye for the day, Steven went to his first destination: Greasy's Diner.

Luckily, the house wasn't that far from the town because he could see other buildings even if they were some kilometers away, and much farther there was a mansion hidden between the trees.

Not wanting to waste time, Steven summoned his bubble, planning to use it as a human hamster ball to go faster to Greasy's Diner but then he hesitated. What if that freaked people out? What if this time he hurt someone? But Abuelita told him that the townsfolk were used to weirdness, though he didn't know how much they would accept coming from a hybrid like him.

Then an idea crossed his mind. His bubble vanished and in its place, his legs turned pink with enough concentration to run like Sonic the Hedgehog. And in 3, 2, 1, a trail of smoke was what he left once he started running. Quickly, he saw the address of the place which turned to be a bad idea because he was going so fast that he didn't see some people meters away from him until one of them yelled.

"Hey, stop! There is a garbage can!"

His eyes widened at that realization and tried to stop his marathon-like sprint, which completely backfired in his face.

The moment he nailed his heels on the ground, the momentum pushed him with incredible strength from behind sending him spiraling on air as if the hybrid were a plane falling from the skies. The plummeting was really painful and it took some minutes for Steven to see who were surrounding him and the rest of the world because his sight was blurry, with little stars here and there.

"Hey, kiddo, are you alright?"

"Geeez, you know if I were going to show off my super-speed, the first thing I would do is training enough to not have an accident like this"

"Uuuuhhh... Wha--?" 

"Here, fella, let me help you" the person who talked lent him a hand, Steven shook his head a bit to get rid of the dizziness before taking it.

At his sides were two people. One was a bearded man, tall, bulky that kind of reminded him of Bismuth. He looked tough with the sleeveless leather jacket, some tattues and the weird eyes that were totally white, no irises; the second one was a kid or very short teenager, Steven wasn't so sure. The boy had silver blond hair, his hairstyle looked fancy and Elvis-like but too much and it was hardly covered by a sports helmet; his face was chubby with some freckles in the cheeks.

The silver-haired kid helped him to get up and Steven had to suppress a painful hiss and his mind from conjuring images of bruises and scraps decorating his back.

"T-Thanks... Oooowww..." His hand went to his neck and he started moving one side then the other, then clack! 

Ouch! That hurt! But at least the movements wouldn't be that restricted.

"Man, I always thought street car racing was dangerous, but this took the whole cake", the bearded man winced a bit after hearing another crack that came from Steven’s back when he stretched.

"Sorry about the unexpected accident, guys. I just wanted to go to a place as fast as I can"

"Well, buddy, a car would've been more practical", the teenager responded.

"Haha yeah, tell that to the gnomes. They totally wrecked it"

"Ouch. Did you get in their way when they were trying to kidnap another girl to marry her or were they stealing your food?"

"Wait. Kidnapping? They do that too?!"

"Yep, they're that desperate"

"Shiiiiiitttttt" Steven didn’t even care that he was swearing right now.

The other boy coughed a bit to go on to another topic, seeing that Steven was paling at that horrendous surprise.

"Anyway, I've never seen you here before. Let me guess, are you a new neighbor or just a tourist walking around? If what you did can be called 'walking'"

"Eh, a mix of both. I was planning to take myself on a tour through the town and find a job. I owe Soos a lot of money"

The other two were surprised at that, Soos wasn't the kind of guy from an action movie who runs a gang and demand helpless victims for some bills.

"Can I ask why?" the bearded man asked.

Steven's mouth suddenly felt ten times unresponsive than ever. If facing Soos and Wendy's reactions because of the mess he had caused was bad, how would he deal with someone else's?

However, the short boy in front of him proved to be really observant, maybe too much for his tastes.

"You have super speed, and your legs were glowing pink. Maybe this is an assumption and I might be wrong, but do you have other powers than we don't know about? Like, for example, hyper voice? So whenever you scream, everything around you shakes or cracks?"

_'Goddamn it, since when kids are so perceptive?'_ the hybrid thought to himself bitterly and shrunk on his shoulders, not noticing the pink color tainting his cheeks until he heard a gasp from the other two and shook his head to make it disappear.

"L-Look, it was an accident. I didn't mean to, I swear! Yesterday, I had a horrible day. I was almost killed by the gnomes because I was trying to get some belongings back from them, my car was destroyed and I've been under a lot of stress lately! But it's not that I can't repay Soos for the damages, or even the whole town, I just-- I just need more time and a job! Seriously, I know I screwed up!"

Just like that he glared at the ground and crossed his arms, not because he was mad even if he was but to protect himself from, well, any kind of protest or sign of fear from the kid and the man in front of him, but also from the horrible feelings that were sinking his mind.

Then, when he thought the silence couldn't get more unbearable, the silver-haired boy sighed.

"Ok, that makes sense, I guess. And, trust me, as much as I'm surprised, shocked -to be honest- at this news, I can see that you don't have a single bad bone in you. Whatever accident you've had that made your powers went out of control, it must have been pretty ugly. And, hey, you said you wanted to fix this right? It's noble of you to face your mistakes and learn from them"

Steven looked at him, speechless. "Wait, wait. You're not mad, scared, or disgusted? Not even a little?"

"Fella, I've had a lot of power before and I wasn't the best candidate for it. I completely abused it for my own gain and even sided with a megalomaniacal triangular psycho who offered me much power than I could've ever imagined. If I pointed fingers at you or anyone who had trouble with their own supernatural abilities and called them a threat, I would be a huge hypocrite"

"Yeah, Gideon is right. And I know because I've seen him at his worst" the bearded snorted a bit, Gideon just shoved him or try to playfully.

"I don't know if being relieved that you are so understanding or to be worried about you guys taking weirdness so lightly" Steven mumbled tiredly.

"Well, for starters, I took it lightly. In the way that I was selfish and flippant about power. It was just a tool I could use to get what I want. Nothing less, nothing more. But that was the old me, now it's different. Anyway, I think we have forgotten about the introductions. Howdy, my name is Gideon Gleeful and this is my friend Ghost-Eyes"

"It's a pleasure, kid" the former criminal offered his hand for a shake.

"Nice to meet you both. I'm Steven" the hybrid shook both his hand, more tranquil now.

"So, Steven, you said that you were planning a tour and finding a job at the same time, right?"

"Yeah, though the job is more urgent. As you have found out, my powers were the ones who caused the shaking and many objects to break"

"Mind if I ask if the same has happened to the Mystery Shack?"

Steven again felt like he was being pointed as if he were a monster and yeah it didn't make sense, because Gideon wasn't sounding menacing or accusing with his question, just curious, but still.

"Yyyyyeeeeeaaaaahhhhh... Some windows broke, a lightbulb was in pieces and the red S from the big letter fell off from the roof. But Soos and Wendy are ok...thankfully"

"I see, so you are trying to cover for the damages. Of course, that will take some time, but maybe taking a full-time job or two part-time jobs for some months might help you with this dilemma"

"That means you know a place to start working? Like right now?"

"I can give ya a tour, buddy. A tour and some good advice about places to get a job from ex local celebrity like little Gideon here"

Steven smiled at that offer. This may be fun.

////////////////////////

Fortunately, this time he was right. Hanging out with Gideon was, in fact, pretty fun. His gang of ex-convicts and former cellmates also had some interesting life-stories before they became criminals, and even with their rough and intimidating exterior, they weren't so bad and loved to have a good time. Just with some messes and wreaking havoc here and there.

The most surprising thing was how Gideon, despite being a kid in a prison full of dangerous adults, could become their leader and then a friend. Though, now that Steven thought about it, that story shouldn't be such a surprise knowing that he was able to change the minds of 3 ageless, powerful tyrants and dismantle an alien empire that existed for eons.

Still, an accomplishment was an accomplishment.

"Unbelievable," he said while rubbing his eye. The last anecdote he heard from Gideon was so bizarre but hilarious that it made him cry from laughing "I mean, it was extreme that a single child could become the boss of some ruthless criminals, but I never thought you could take it as if it was something that normal" then Steven facepalmed mentally, feeling as if he was overstepping some boundaries "W-Well, not to say that it is normal, but I didn't want you to feel l-like I'm alienating you, you know? J-Just... Damn, even I know. I had to deal with my own fair share of problematic adults"

"Hehe, don't worry, fella. Besides, this was more of my thing, you know? I didn't care back then that the circumstances I was surrounded with weren't that mundane, it was more about getting the upper hand, getting my way, just benefits. To be honest, my childhood was like that for a big part when I got a hold of power. And it felt..."

"It felt... Exhausting, a lot of expectations put on you, a lot of demands, stressing, a never-ending cycle of work?"

Seconds after saying that, Steven paled considerably and froze. Since when those words were on his mind? And why did he say that to a new friend he was barely starting to know? If that was a new inconvenient courtesy of his powers going haywire again, the hybrid didn't like it at all.

"Not really" Gideon looked at him getting suspicions which made Steven's nerves tense even when he was trying to ease the sudden tension off with a nervous smile "I don't want to pry, but it seems that something is bugging ya, Steven. Mind If I ask what?"

"Oh no, it's-it's nothing. Just curious. I mean, you sounded very happy to have a lot of power when you were younger, right?"

"Mmmmm, I think where this is going. And to answer your question, yeah that's true. I was happy having everything under my control, but it wasn't fated to last. As I told you earlier, I wasn't the best candidate to have all that power. I was childish, petty, selfish, and a huge jerk to my parents even. That's why the best way to test a man's character is by giving him power, and when I got it, it was like Christmas every day, but it wasn't enough. I wanted more and more and it felt invigorating, addicting to see the results. Like when a kid can decide the future or the 'lives' of their toys if they are going to be the bad guys, the good guys or some random character to put on the sideline in some kind of event created by their imagination"

The more Gideon talked about his old power-lust, the more Steven grimaced. His mind took him to some uncomfortable memories of his mom when she was all ' **MeMeMe** ', always demanding for a colony, being so flippant that she didn't even care to think how her actions might affect others. Then Spinel's heartbroken expression when she found out that Pink had abandoned her appeared which made him feel worse. Of course, the little gem was a playmate, her purpose was to entertain his mom, but then, when the prospect of finally getting a new colony came to the picture, she was sidelined by mom. And why? Because she wasn't interesting or 'worth her time' anymore. Because, as Gideon said, mom had the power to turn Spinel into a good, bad, or random place as if the gem was her toy. And yeah, it was Spinel's choice to destroy the Earth to get revenge, but if mom hadn't been that childish, things would have been completely different.

_'And I wouldn't have had to clean another mess'_ he added on his mind, sour and angsty.

"Uuuuhhhh, Steven... Buddy, are you there? I think should've stopped talking because whatever I said, it upset you. A lot" 

"No, no, sorry" Steven shoved his troubling feelings and memories of his mom out of his mind and smiled appeasingly "It wasn't you. I just remembered someone of my family who, in your own words, wasn't 'the best candidate to handle power'"

"And that person, and forgive me if this sounds a bit intrusive to your personal life, but are they responsible for you having powers like superspeed and the hype voice? Just curious, of course, you don't have to tell me"

"Mmmm, well, yeah. My mom is the one whom I inherited my powers from" Steven decided to chance subject quickly to not talk or think that much about Pink "But what about you? You said you had a lot of power, right? Did you inherit it or...?"

"Gravity Falls has a lot of surprises stored in its forest. One of them is a magical stone that can grant anyone who gets it telekinesis. I got that thing years ago and, as shamefully as it sounds, weaponized it to get my way. That and also my charisma and deceiving skills to manipulate the townsfolk by making them believe I was a sweetheart when I was all the opposite"

"So, you were a...huge jerk"

"It's ok to say it, fella. No one is ready for power until they see themselves in a mirror and reflect on who they are. Or in my case, children aren't ready for power, especially if they need some structure and rules first that their parents can't give them. That was also my case too. I was so spoiled rotten and verbally abusive with them that my father couldn't scold me or lecture me without suffering the consequences and my mother was terrified of me"

"It seems that you were the 'king' of the house while growing up, uh?"

"In the worst way. It wasn't the standard or traditional childhood, though I'm not the only one"

"Then welcome to the club of non-conventional childhood!" Steven raised his can of soda "Now that makes us two. Geeeeez, if you knew what I've been through, the things I've seen, the places where I went, we would be here all day"

"Hahahahaha, really? Well, what if we play 20 questions to see? One takes a turn to ask a question and the other answers and asks another question. Of course, if the questions get a bit close to private life, we can change the subject then"

That sounded like a good idea which impressed Steven because he was going to share some things very crazy about his life to Gideon, whom he was still knowing. But within the hybrid was also the feeling that this kid could understand him at a certain level; besides, if things got a bit personal, he was given the option to change the topic. So, why not?

"Ok, do you want to start or should I?"

"You're my guest, Steven. Have all the honor to ask freely"

Steven thought carefully to not upset Gideon or sound rude with his curiosity. Something that got his interest was how weird was Gravity Falls' forest, and not only because it intrigued him but also because he didn't want to cross paths with something weird while he was in the town.

"Do you know another strange creature or magical object here in Gravity Falls? Because I don't wanna repeat with the gnomes if I meet another monster or mini people with pointy hats"

"Gravity Falls is full of supernatural fauna and sentient creatures. There are the Manotaurs, the gnomes, the unicorns, the fairies, some dwarves that hate the gnomes' guts, and a lot more than I don't know about. But, if you want some precaution once you enter the forest, you can ask Stanford Pines. He has lived studying the supernatural for years and recorded everything in his journals. No, wait, the journals were burnt, so asking for them won't work. Anyway, I wanted to ask apart from super speed and hyper voice, what other powers do you have?"

"Well, I can summon a shield, a bubble, I have healing powers, I can float, I can fuse, the usual gem stuff" **As long as it's not destructive** , his mind added but he ignored it. Gideon listened to his every word really enraptured by the information "Does that magical stone affect you in some way whenever you use it?"

"Not really, you only have to concentrate enough to use its telekinesis. But, eh, Mabel destroyed it which was a good thing in the end. I was too addicted to its power. You said your powers are 'gem stuff', is someone in your family like some kind of rock-like alien?"

"Yyyyyyeeeeaaaahhhhh, my mom. And her family too. Though I only inherited her powers, not the ones her relatives have" Steven made a pause and formulate his next question which he prayed it wasn't that intrusive "Have you ever felt like you had a lot of power but it keeps growing and taking a toll on you while you try to not mess things up?"

"Mmmmm... This sounds a bit philosophical. Is it ok if I ask if this question comes from your own experience?"

Steven looked away and shrunk in his shoulders. After a stretch of silence, Gideon was going to say that they could change the topic but then he watched the hybrid nodding very slowly.

"I... I used to have problems using my powers..." Steven started albeit painfully. The images of a terrified Volleyball after his powerful scream on The Reef, the pink dome that incarcerated Lars, the Off-Colors, Shep, Saddie and the Cool Kids, bringing to life CactusSteven who in the end ended up violent because he hurt him overwhelmed his mind, but Steven pushed it all on the depths of his subconsciously. 

"When I was a kid, it was all about finding out how to activate and use them properly which took time and work, but I still did it because I wanted my family to be proud of me. But now it's different. They are unpredictable, very easy to notice, and sometimes they don't make sense. I thought I finally understood how my powers worked, but I keep screwing up and it's--"

"Infuriating" Gideon intervened softly.

"Yeah, and I hate seeing people hurt. I mean, I don't know how Soos can be so kind and patient with me because the most normal thing to do when you find out that a random person in front of you was the one who destroyed a lot of things with a single yell is to, I don't know, call the police or run away, right? And he didn't! He helped me with my car, he was friendly, I don't know if it was to prevent me to mess up again or because Soos was being genuine, I'm not sure anymore but heck, even Wendy who freaked out when she found out I was the one who caused so much trouble, was nice to me and it's... I don't know"

Gideon now had a bigger picture of this dilemma. Power control issues and a lot of guilt, also dealing with the unknown despite being inexperienced and young, lacking a mentor or a manual which is something that not everyone with powers has.

"Want my honest opinion, Steven?" the silver-haired boy started, "I think you and I are opposites side of the same coin. My source of power and the mechanisms to use it aren't as deep as yours and I used to weaponize it to get what I want despite the wrongness of my actions. Of course, I don't know so much about how your abilities work and your history, but I can see it through your eyes. You saw your capabilities as tools to make others' lives better and take care of them, you were selfless and hardworking, but like me, you're still young. It's too much pressure for a young one having the task of handling something that is not labeled normal while you try to not succumb to power-lust or messing things up. And well, coming from my experience, the only pressure I had on my back was my own impatience to get any means for my gain no matter who was hurt or if I became into something irredeemable. But that's not your case, Steven. Yeah, you did bad things and people could get hurt, but was it because you had like a killing urge? No. You were overwhelmed by negative events and your powers got out of control. Besides, you want to fix your mistakes and turn the page which I consider very mature. So, don't be so hard on yourself. You still have a long life to live and therefore, there should be a lot to uncover whether it is related to your supernatural inheritance or not, so, my best advice is to go slow. Don't burn yourself out, no one is pressuring you after all"

No one is pressuring you. It's your journey and just yours. It was like Soos and Gideon were thinking the same things to give the same kind of advice to Steven. But it didn't feel as if both were omniscient or had a better idea of what Steven was going through to rub in his face how experienced they were and why he should listen to them.

_'I don't want any more 'high and mighty' advice from Garnet. I just want to know better for once'_

Yeah, that's something he is getting tired of.

"Wow, hehe thanks. That is a...very mature way to put it, but you're right. It's kind of the same Soos told me, if it's my journey then it's up to me how fast or how slow I can go"

"Which is good. Finding people who can tell you from experience what's the best course of action is a blessing in trying times"

"Exactly. Thanks. Oh, I almost forget it. Do you know good places to get a job? I was thinking of working in the Mystery Shack, but I don't want to sound so demanding to Soos"

"I bet he will be happy to give you one, but I'm not sure if he needs more hands in the Shack. Still, it won't hurt to try. Oh, there is also the lake where Tate McGucket works cleaning the boats and keeping everything clean for tourists, and Greasy's Dinner where Pacifica and Robbie are working in turns. I believe it needs more people, so, you have 3 options, of course, your schedule will be tight, but it will help you with the income"

_'3 jobs at the same time'_ Steven deemed it too much. Stressful days of organizing schedules in Little Homeworld and having meeting after meeting with the Diamonds crossed his mind. It was going to be quite a hassle once he started, but hey, he survived in more chaotic situations and with more pressure than anyone could imagine, so, having three jobs where only humans participated wouldn't be that hard. He just needed a good schedule, a way to mobilize due to his car being wrecked, and a prayer his powers didn't go haywire on his first day. But first, he would have to talk with Soos.

"Hey, Gideon, do you mind if you could give me a ride to the Mystery Shack?"

/////////////////////

"Well, here we are, Steven! Good luck with the job applications by the way!" 

"Thanks, Gid!" Steven shook his hand to bid him farewell while the boy and one of his former cellmates got father away on a jeep.

The evening was starting to fade away to let the night in, Steven quickly went to the door of the Shack, still doubtful if this was a good idea, but if he wanted to make it on his own, the last he could do should be taking a risk. Besides, what was the worst that would happen? 

"I'm coming!" said a voice after Steven knocked some times. 

Soos, in his business Mr. Mystery suit, got pleasantly surprised to see his little friend. 

"Hey, dude! Good, you're here! Sorry I couldn't give a town tour, by the way, today things have gotten pretty busy" 

"No worries, man. Besides, uuuuhhh, I met someone who gave me part of the tour. Gideon" 

"Really? You met little Gideon? Wow, good thing Mr. Pines is not here, he still isn't that fond of the kid, though Gideon has made a lot of progress and is much nicer now"

So, the silver-haired boy didn't exaggerate when he said that some people still hold a grudge because of his crimes when he was still the bad guy. At least, he wasn't in the middle of an ancient lust of vendetta like when he was still in Beach City and Homeworld wanted to destroy the world.

Anyway, back to the point. 

"So, Soos, I was thinking, I don't remember how much money I have to compensate you for the damages I caused with my powers and I also need some to get a place to sleep and everything else--" 

"Dude, come on, you don't have to pay me anything" Soos was going to say more, but Steven stopped him, getting serious.

"I have to and it's the least I can do. I don't want you to deal with all of that while you have other things to do. That's why I wanted to ask you if you needed a hand here, another employee. If not, that's ok, I can ask for a job in the lake or in Greasy's Dinner"

"Oh, but dude, what about your car? I've seen it and it will need a lot of repairs"

"Darn... I didn't think about that" 

"Well, I could give a ride to the lake and Greasy's Dinner if you want. And hey, two heads are better than one when it comes to creativity and I think you have a lot to help me with new exhibitions for the Mystery Shack!" 

"That means...?" Steven started smiling, guessing what his friend would say.

"Exactly, dude! Welcome to the team of the Mystery Shack!" The gopher-like man put his old cap on Steven’s head as a 'Hired!' gesture while smiling brightly. His good mood contagious enough to make Steven's grin getting bigger. 

Things were finally looking great!


	4. Welcome to Memoryland! (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven’s first day of job! From incredible adventures to hideous cans of worms.  
> Warning: anxiety attack, some symptoms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was, wow, full of nostalgia. You will see! Thanks for waiting, sometimes it's difficult to have some inspiration. But anyway, enjoy!

There was no watch in the room. There was no alarm either to indicate the hour as a warning for a 'beep, beep, beep!". Steven's cellphone was still turned off and the sun hasn't appeared on the horizon yet, but some things -or some habits, to be more exact- never change.

Just as the first rays of sunshine caressed his skin, Steven opened his eyes slowly and stretched his body while yawning.

A bit drowsy for getting up at 7 am, he went to the bathroom to wash his face, and then his eyes looked at his reflection. His appearance wasn't the best nor the worst. The big bags in his eyes had lessened thanks to a well-needed sleep, his whole frame had lost the tension from hours of exhausting driving and danger-filled anxiety, and the most relieving thing for Steven was the color of his skin. Not pink at all, just the normal tone.

Of course, he had turned pink in front of his new friends, but they were understanding and didn't push which he couldn't appreciate enough. Now, the hardest part would be to not fall apart again on his first day of job. Heck, if that were to happen, he couldn't imagine the humiliation and nervousness he would feel, no matter how kind Soos and Wendy would be with him or how they would try to help him.

"Steven, sweetie, breakfast is ready!" Abuelita called.

"I'm coming!"

He got out of the bathroom, changed his clothes, and went to the kitchen where Mrs. Ramírez and Soos were putting everything.

"Hey, dude!" the friendly gopher-like man raised his hand and smiled which Steven responded in the same way.

"Ready for your first day in the Mystery Shack?"

Honestly, he was a bit nervous. He didn't know what was going to happen or if his powers were going to go haywire in front of strangers like the last time. And let's not forget how his shriek almost trashed the place. But Soos and Wendy didn't hate him or tell him to stay away from them, so as long as he was careful, things would be alright. Besides, this was his chance to make up for causing so much trouble, therefore, Steven should make the best of it.

"I'll do my best," he said finally with a confident smile. As confident as he could muster, and his friend gave him the thumbs-up.

"That's the spirit!"

The Ramírez family started chatting during breakfast, sometimes inviting Steven to the conversation. At first, he didn't know what topic might be great to talk about; gem stuff, old missions and the gems he befriended were his only themes. Well, if Connie were here they would be talking about anything that came to their minds. He would tell her about Little Homeschool new students, how the Gems are taking care of the classes, and she, college applications, some shenanigans from school, and other stuff.

He wondered how she's doing. Maybe she found out that Steven’s gone, maybe she is freaking out -which he doubted- or trying to calm everyone down. Oh no, what if she asked Lion to open a portal and surprised him here eating with Soos and Abuelita. It would be a disaster and his plans would surely--

"Dude, Steven, hey! Can you hear me?"

Soos' voice was strong enough to break his chain of thought, but thankfully it wasn't that much to be a scream.

"Wait what? Sorry, sorry. I spaced out. What were you talking about?"

"Abuelita wanted to know where you come from"

Steven looked at the old lady whose expression was worried and confused. Did he shine pink accidentally? He glanced at his hands and no, thank goodness, his skin was normal.

"Sorry, just some thoughts. And about that, I live in Beach City, well, used to live there anyway"

"The beaches must be so beautiful there" she replied.

"A single beach to be exact. Tranquil, splendid, I know it like the palm of my hand. That and the name make it pretty obvious. But I can't say the same for this town. I mean, Gravity Falls can confuse some people or make them wonder why the place is called like that"

"Well, after what happened a year ago, now the name is more fitting"

"A year ago? What happened back then?" his curiosity was suddenly piqued.

"Dude, would you believe me if I told you that gravity here went crazy?"

"Wait, crazy?"

"Yeah, Steven dude. Totally bonkers. One moment, everything was in its place, the other one, nothing could touch the ground. Everyone was floating!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, but that's something you need to hear from Mr. Pines and Dr. Pines. They have been dealing with a huge experiment that could mess with gravity and is under the Shack!"

"Wow wow, wait, hold on. So, they have created something that is under the same place you're working and can alter gravity?"

"Don't worry, dude. The machine is in pieces and turned off, so nothing bad will happen. But it's a great story"

If Soos' definition of 'great story' was the fact that the owners of the Shack had a dangerous machine hidden from everyone, he didn’t want to know if someone else had a different opinion.

After breakfast, Soos and Steven helped Abuelita with the dishes and bid her farewell before going to the Mystery Shack. During the ride, the teenager hybrid started to wonder what other weird things had happened in the town, not that he wanted to deal with them because his mind was still trying to forget the mess he caused with Cactus Steven and how his powers could be going coo-coo bananas for whatever reason.

More than listing supernatural event after supernatural event, he would like for a way to see how to avoid those things and have a bit of normalcy and peace to not have to struggle with his unstable powers, thank you very much.

"Hey, dude, something on your mind?" Soos asked and Steven's train of thought dissipated as fast as it came.

"Oh? Uh, sorry, distracted again" Then a question crossed his mind, and despite the apprehension, Steven decided to talk "Soos, aren't you, you know, kind of weirded out with all those strange things happening. I mean, the gnomes, a wiping-mind cult, a really dangerous experiment under the Shack? How can you be so calm about it?"

"Mmmm, good question, dude. To be honest, there are things that freaked me out or shocked me. But living in Gravity Falls can make you get used to it. Dr. Pines was the first one, Mr. Pines then started living here but he isn't that fond of the weirdness. On my part, I prefer to be careful, because sometimes it's fun but other times it can get ugly"

_'_ _Ugly it's a huge understatement on my part'_ Steven wanted to say but then he wondered why he asked that question. His family in Beach City was anything but normal. The people there were accustomed to monsters and alien activity. Ronaldo was even obsessed with the paranormal. No one questioned anything unless the town was under threat, so that was their kind of normalcy.

He thought a long time ago that that was normal or supposed to be. Going on missions, facing danger after danger, pacifying enemy gems, dismantling an empire of space.

Discovering mom's lies and horrible deeds also became normal, in a bitter and angry way.

Now though, all that routine he had as a child just gave his gem powers more reasons to go crazy, and he had fixed it after Spinel attacked him with the rejuvenator.

"Here we are, dude. The Mystery Shack!"

Soos' announcement brought the teenager to the real world and both got out of the truck.

The gopher-like man grabbed some keys from his suit pocket and opened the door.

"This is your first day of job, dude, so, before we start, let me show you the whole Shack in case you need to look for something" Steven was guided for a half an hour through the whole exhibition zone, the gift shop, Soos' room in the Shack and even the more home-y places like the living room and the kitchen.

Once they finished the little tour, Soos brought him to the craftmanship room where the exhibitions were created and polished.

There were a lot of materials, glue, papers and a pen on a big table. Some papers had gibberish or crossed out drawings, others were turned into little balls while the rest were in blank. There was also half of a statue that had, Steven wasn't that sure, hair or sticks glued to it.

"What is that?" he pointed at the half-finished exhibition, Soos scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

"This was an idea of mine for a new creature to show, I had called it the Multibeast. It's inspired in the Multibear"

The Multibear, he remembered that Gideon mentioned him about it yesterday.

"Wait, so, you looked for it to have some inspiration?"

"Yep, thankfully he is kind and approachable. Not like the Manotaurs, they tend to be more aggressive and ask for the same, if not, you're not that manly enough for them. So, Multibear told me about his story: he was a sort of creation of a terrible mage that wanted to create a monster, but the Multibear didn't want to be that, so he knocked out the mage and escaped. And then he started living in a cave in the woods. He also asked to change his life story if I were gonna use it for a new exhibition because of privacy"

"And what was your idea?"

"Oh! Well, my tale was that a long time ago, there were two groups of warriors living in the woods of Gravity Falls, one was friend with the wolves, and the other befriended the bears. And both were in a war, but only a member of each group wanted to establish peace between them. So they used some kind of magic they had found in the caves and became a wolf and a bear. They bonded and fell in love, showing their people peace was possible. And when they grew old, both warriors begged to a shooting star to still be together and guide their tribes which became true, because their souls fused and there it was the Multibeast or Bearolf!"

Steven's mouth formed an O of awe. That story was beautiful; romance and happy endings were his favorite themes. He still remembered when he was so enamored with the idea of a cake and a wedding between Archimicarus and Lisa from Connie's book series, even when he wasn't so adamant to admit that to his best friend.

Though it wasn’t the only love story Soos' idea was reminding him.

_'But what you don't know is how Ruby and Sapphire first met.'_

_'O-M-G! I don't!'_

_....._

_'Where did we go? What did we do?_

_I think we made something, entirely new._

_And it wasn't quite me, and it wasn't quite you._

_I think it was someone, entirely new.'_

Steven smiled unconsciously, excited to help his friend to complete this idea. 

"Soos, that story was so lovely!" The gopher-like man was flustered by the compliment while the boy continued "This could make for a great exhibition. Just imagine, a story of two soulmates separated by their circumstances, fighting together to live a peaceful life where no one can judge their love, where everyone can choose who they love! I'm in! I want to see it finished!"

"Now we're talking! Let's start!" 

Soos' enthusiasm could even rival Steven’s though his gratitude for the compliment and being willing to help him were stronger. 

They spent the last two hours building the rest of the exhibition, polishing it, and preparing the little description that would accompany it. During that time, Soos talked about some things about his life like his relationship with his girlfriend Melody and how they met, how nervous he was in chatting with a girl and afraid of keep screwing up. 

He also talked about the long distance between them because they had different businesses in different places, but they managed with video chat and phone calls. 

Steven again was brought to simpler and happier times when the distance wasn't so much of a problem between him and his friends. He still could feel the wind on his face while being in the car with the Cool Kids, talking about family issues, and having fun. Or that time when Saddie and he saw Lars cooking his famous Ube Roll cake. 

Those moments seemed so far away as if they had never happened, and now his friends were going places and he was trying to move on and turn a new page. 

He pushed those conflicting feelings to a corner of his mind and keep helping Soos with the exhibition. It was taking good shape with the features of both a bear and a wolf. 

"Hey, Soos, have any gray, brown, or black paint?" 

"Of course, dude. Wait a second" 

Then, another hour passed with both of them painting the improvised 'fur' of the statue all while Steven’s new boss told him some funny and odd stories that happened a year ago. 

"Hehehehe, wow, I can't believe you attacked that triangle Bill with a stomach beam" 

"But it worked. You should've seen it!" Soos took a few steps back to check on the exhibition. His eyes shined with pride for all the hard work paid off and his idea was going to amaze tourists. 

"It looks great" Steven opined. 

"Better than great. Thank you, dude" The gopher-like man ruffled his hair. Both then carried the Bearolf/Multibeast to its pedestal and Soos put a golden plate that said 'The Bearolf'. 

"Hehe, wow man, I didn't know you liked love stories like me. I mean, it's just an assumption, but still, it was very sweet that tale you made up" 

"Thanks, Steven. To be honest, I wasn't that much for romance, though it looked cute when I saw some couples. But back then, I didn't have so much confidence like my cousin Reggie who was even going to marry. Thankfully, Dipper and Mabel helped me to just be myself and find someone who liked me for who I was, and then Melody came to the picture. I couldn't be happier with her at my side"

"You were nervous, weren't you?" 

"Nervous and anxious. I may be sociable, but sometimes my tongue doesn't work" 

_'Just like mine back then'_ Steven mused while his mind conjured some images from the past.

He was there on the beach, riding his bicycle until his eyes met Connie, sat in the sand and reading a book. 

He wanted to talk to her, maybe make a good impression, but something went wrong and put him in ridiculous much to his embarrassment.

Heck, that must've been the first time when Steven felt so self-conscious and he wasn't a shy guy. And the part where Soos said that he and Melody fell in love, the hybrid didn't have any idea of what to think about it. 

I mean, Connie was cute and sweet and awesome and he was so lucky to be besties with her, but that kiss on the cheek that day before Spinel attacked, his blush and that joyful smile, and the butterflies filling his stomach and--

Was this love or a crush? Or was a crush the start of love? 

Steven then shook his head, mentally of course to not raise suspicions. Whether it was one thing of the other, Connie might find someone else much better than him. Besides, she also has her studies and goals to be in politics. Her whole future planned and in the palm of her hands. What did he have to be on the same page as her but his problems that kept getting harder to fix and no plan beyond that? 

Bah! Anyway, it's not that matter. He has started his new life and Connie has hers, it's better to move on. 

"Hey, Steven dude. Now that we have this finished and looking good. Do you have any great idea in that head of yours?" 

"Weeeelllll..." 

_'I could use some of my old adventures as ideas, right? I mean, no one knows anything about me here. But some are a bit intense, though I can make them more comfortable for everyone, right? Yeah, it might work'_

Steven then searched in his memories an adventure that was incredible enough to catch the tourists' attention. The Cluster? Going to space? Facing the Diamond Authority? Entering mom's Moon Base? 

Wait! That's it! 

"What about the origins of...MalaWar?"

Soos raised an eyebrow at such a strange name, but his curiosity opened his ears at the story.

"Everything started in a beautiful island called Crystal Island where there was a little kid, Stephan, who lived with his three guardians Renegade, Future and Puma, and his father, Universe. There was a little town too, Star Town, where people were happy and in peace. But in a cave very, very deep in the jungle of the huge island, a sorceress lived secluded from everyone, trapped and alone. Her name was" he mused about it for a moment before continuing "Azura. Yeah, that. She could control water from the rivers, the waterfalls, the rain, heck even from the sea. She was superpowerful and people stayed away from her, but Stephan saw that she was a lonely and sad soul, and maybe they could be friends.

_'Thank you... You didn't— You actually talked to me. You helped me!'_

Of course, that would be easier said than done. 

_'Go away! Before I make you.'_

_'But we're beach-summer-fun buddies!'_

_'You're one of them. One of the Crystal Gems.'_

But in the end, she softened to him and started to care about him as he cared about her. 

_'I hope you're able to hear this. There's a Gem looking for you, she even knew your name. I don't know how! I didn't tell her, I swear!'_

_'Lapis, she sounds so unhappy...'_

Then, when things started to be peaceful again, a warrior from another island invaded the town because she wanted to get revenge on someone Stephan's guardians knew time ago. Her name was...Ember. She was ruthless, 

_'Your base is taken. Your armies are ruined. You have failed!'_

always focused on winning, 

_'Don't think you've won. You only beat me 'cause you're a fusion!'_

and intimidating. There was a huge fight between her and the guardians. The four of them were too weak and tired to keep fighting, but Ember was so determined on defeating them that she tried to look for something...or someone to give her more power. And that's where Azura came. 

Both of them were enemies, but Ember tried to manipulate Azura so they could fuse their powers and destroy Stephan's guardians. 

_'Lapis, listen, fuse with me!'_

_'What?!'_

_'How long did they keep you trapped here on this miserable hunk of rock? These Gems, they're traitors to their Homeworld. They kept you prisoner. They used you. This is your chance to take revenge! Come on, just say yes.'_

Azura offered her the power to control water, even when Stephan begged her to not do it. They transformed into a giant, hideous monster with four arms as four paws and green claws. White, messy hair, and four cruel eyes. That's how MalaWar was born. But it was a trap in the end. Her plan was to trap Ember with her in the deepness of the ocean."

_'What are you doing?!'_

_'I'm done being everyone's prisoner. Now you're my prisoner! And I'm never letting you go! Let's stay on this miserable planet... together!'_

"Oh no! So, Stephan lost his friend forever?" 

"Not really. Stephan had a power from his mom: traveling through dreams. He used that to reach Azura.

_'Hmm... This is... getting really weird.'_

_'This is weird.'_

_'Hey, that sounds a lot like—'_

_'Steven!'_

_'Lapis Lazuli!'_

_'Steven, what are you doing here?'_

Now, the hardest part was convincing her to tell him where she was, which honestly seemed impossible when you were too stubborn to ask for help."

_'Can't you see? I can't stop, not for a second. Don't look for me. I don't want your help!'_

_'But—'_

_'Just let me do this for you!'_

"But in the end, he could save her, right?" Soos asked, enraptured by the story. 

"Yep, with the power of fusion. His guardians became into a powerful giant who spits fire and summoned weapons. Her name was Driant. She fought against MalaWar to separate both Azura and Ember. It was a long, brutal battle, but with the help of some unexpected friends, she could defeat the monster, and Stephan finally reunited with her. The end"

"Wow, dude that was fantastic!" Soos was beaming like a kid would on his birthday or Christmas. Steven scratched the back of his neck, flustered by the compliment.

"I'm happy to help, besides it's just a burst of inspiration" He mentally swallowed at the lie. That fight had been actually terrifying, him being a Watermelon Steven, encouraging the other Watermelon Steven to fight against Malachite before she could destroy Alexandrite and the whole island with it. But at least things ended up well, and no one here was going to know about the source of Steven's magical stories. 

"Hey, you know, dude? Maybe we can turn your idea into a huge exhibition! MalaWar vs Driant at the top of the island! What do you think?" 

"That would be great, but wouldn't that take too much time to build? What about the customers?" 

"Mmmm, you're right. Ok, first we're going to see if Wendy has arrived already, she can take care of them in my place if a bus or a car approaches the Shack. Besides, it's still early, so we still have time, maybe we can grab something to eat even. Next, we're going to the junkyard. There are good materials there. Also, I want to know more about those characters of your story, they're pretty great."

\-----------------------------

The journey to the junkyard was tranquil and pretty enjoyable. Soos kept sharing some stories about him and his friends that surprised Steven for how weird they were, a bottomless pit? A possessive lady that came from a videogame? The monster of the lake? It seemed that Beach City wasn't the only place where creatures from space or magic adventures ruled, but for now, the talking and taking things easy was enough for him. 

The truck stopped at Greasy Dinner first, Soos explained that after all that work a quick snack wouldn't be a bad idea and it would replenish their energy for later. When they entered, a broody teenager with black eyeliner received them kindly even if he was pinching the bridge of his nose while opening the door. 

"Hello, gentlemen, let's hope you're hungry, we have a great menú to show you today" Ok, when the word 'kindly' came into the picture it was a bit of the exaggeration. The lad's voice sounded exhausted and done with everything. 

"Hey, Robbie dude! Work stressful today?" 

"More like Pacifica and the fu--" he stopped himself after glancing at Steven "I mean, and the jerks of her parents. For real, they can’t just give up. I don't want them to come here and close the entire place just to spite her. This is my first job. I'm doing great here and because of her stupid family issues, I'm gonna lose it!"

"Pacifica... Wait, Soos, isn't that the name of the girl who contributed to the Shack?" 

Before the Mr. Mystery Junior could respond, Robbie interrupted. 

"And who are you?" 

"Oh yeah, presentations. Steven, this is Robbie, he's part of Wendy's gang. Robbie, this is Steven, a new friend of mine and employee at the Mystery Shack" 

Steven raised a hand in hello. 

"Aaaahhh, I see" Robbie could only say, not in the mood for good manners "Well, tables 4, 6 and 8 are free. I can show you where they are and then you can tell which one is the best for you, then I'll take your orders. Pacifica should do that but those sh-- I mean, her annoying parents are wasting her time, which is wasting MY time, because I have to work twice as hard. But anyway, what do you want to eat?"

"Do you have something to take for little drive? There's a lot to do in the Shack, actually"

"Well, we have hamburgers, sandwiches, maybe a piece of pie"

"Do you have anything that is vegetarian?" Steven asked. 

"Vegetarian? I don't know, buddy. Mmmm" Robbie checked on the menú, "I think you're lucky, we do have something. It's a new one, a veggie burrito with soy meat, we can add it some sauces if you want" 

Steven nodded in approval and Robbie left them to give the orders to the chef. While waiting at one side of the cashier, the boy heard what was yelling and cursing, though it was muffled by the doors with a sign: Staff Only. 

"Oh dude, whatever they are up to is putting Pacifica into a spotlight, and not the good one" Soos commented, worried. He had heard the shouting too.

"Are her parents that bad?" Steven asked, curious. It wasn't his business, but something compelled him to know more.

"I don't know them, to be honest, but Dipper did. He was 'hired' to exorcise a ghost that was haunting the mansion, but the little dude told me that ghost wanted revenge against the Northwest because Pacifica's family had broken a promise with the spirit a long time ago, and her parents wanted her to keep that a secret so their party with important people wasn't ruined. Of course, Dipper didn't like it when he found out. Those guys are just really attached to their reputation"

Attachment to reputation and appearances, uh? It was unnervingly similar to some situations he had to deal with years ago. Unwanted shivers invaded Steven’s back at making the comparison. How the adults cared more about strangers' approval and outdated traditions than what was truly right and what a child was feeling about following unfair, classist rules. 

_'Pink! Why aren't you getting ready?'_

_'I guess I am ready, if all I have to do is sit in a chair.'_

_'Are you really going to look like this?! Even at the ball?'_

_.............._

_'They can't come? Aren't they my... court or whatever?'_

_'Pink, quit fooling around! White Diamond is going to be there! We have to present her with our best possible selves, just as our Gems have to present us with their best possible selves. A ball is a chance to inspire everyone!'_

_'But my friends are super inspiring! They'll inspire White, too. Together we can make a case for Earth!'_

_'Very well, you can bring your Pearl, of course, and your pet.'_

_'Uhh, pet?'_

_'I think she means me.'_

"You know, Stephan has to go through the same trouble" the hybrid vented.

"Oh, really?" and Soos' interest was piqued again.

"Yeah, trust me. It was a diplomatic mission to save the island and the whole world, and he traveled with his family and friends to negotiate. But first, he needed to attend a very fancy party, full of old customs he didn't understand, and watching his family being treated as pariahs"

"How horrible! You know, Dipper was mad at the same things. Pacifica at first didn't treat us well, her parents are pretentious jerks, and they even forbid all the townfolks from entering the mansion every time they organized a party"

"Yeah! Exactly like that! It was all about 'Your place is this' or 'You have to act this way' or 'These people shouldn't come, what our guest will think?' and blah, blah, blah. Man, it was such a nightmare."

Robbie then appeared with two wrappers that were steaming and two cans of soda.

"These ones are on the house, dudes. Steven, your tofu burrito with a Fanta can. Soos, I forgot to ask you for your order, so I went for the meat and cheese sandwich with a Pepsi can. Please, don't tell about this to Susan, ok? If she finds out I made up an order because I forgot to ask a customer, I'll be screwed"

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me" Soos imitated Wendy's gesture of closing his mouth is if his lips were a zipper. Neither he nor Robbie noticed how pale Steven got after watching that gesture.

_'No one can ever find out we did this. I never want to look back.'_

_*folds Pearl's hands to cover her mouth* 'So, for my last order to you as a Diamond, please, let's never speak of this again. No one can know.'_

But before breakfast could even get fired from his stomach, Soos turned to him and Steven changed his pale expression from a laid-back smile, pushing those somber memories to a forgotten corner of his mind.

"Salud, dude! For your first day as a member of the Mystery Shack, and for a good day of job!"

"Thanks, man. Salud!" Both clanked their soda cans and got out from Greasy Dinner after Soos paid for the food.

Another journey began this time to the junkyard to get more materials for Steven's idea of an exhibition. Inspiration struck him again as he saw the piles of trash and pieces of very old cars here and there at the place. They resembled pillars, ruined, some shorter than others, in a desolate land. It was as if he was again in that desert where he met Lion, and fought together and recovered a gem-encrusted pillow. Hey, that is another great idea!

"Soos, man, do you know that Stephan has a magical lion that can teleport to any part of the world?" 

His friend's eyes widened, a multitude of stars shining in them. Steven smiled and kept talking. 

"He was in a mission with his guardians, it was in the ruins of an old city in the middle of a huge desert. Then he crossed paths with..." Ok, he called him Lion, but he couldn't use the same name. Well, no that he couldn't, the problem was that it needed to be original "Furry" Eh, it was worth a shot "A mix of the words fur and fury. The lion was huge, and he had superpowers. He could walk on the water, teleport, fight and much more"

"And was it tamed? Was he dangerous when Stephan met him?" 

"Not really. He acted more like a cat. Loved napping, minding his own business, hunting things, taking walks here and there. Just that. And Stephan adopted him... Well, more like it was his after all" 

"If you find it first, you can keep it, right?" 

"Eh... More like Furry was Stephan's mom" 

"Wait so, she was a lion trainer?"

"Something like that. She gave him powers and...kind of left him there in the ruins to guard the gem-encrusted pillow (?)" Steven didn’t sound so sure about that, in fact, was Lion left behind by mom a long time ago? Like Spinel, the Gems, Dad? Or did Mom think that he guarding that strange pillow was a good idea?

But maybe that's another question about Pink Diamond that would remain unanswered for the rest of his life.

"That's so cool! Every hero should have an animal companion like Aang with Appa, his flying bison, and Korra with Naga her dog-polar bear. Oh, or Roku with his huge red dragon!"

"Who are they?" Were there more magical animal owners he needed to know about?

Soos gasped in disbelief and comical fake horror. 

"Dude, don't tell me you haven't seen Avatar: The legend of Aang and The Legend of Korra! They're great shows! Hey, maybe one of these days, we can watch them together. You'll love them!" 

Old times. Speaking of old times, being in a friend's house watching a funny show, laughing, teasing the characters or each other, sharing what they liked and disliked about it. How comfortable and happy he was back then, at Connie's side, while she was explaining why her mom didn't let her watch Under the Knife.

Or that time when Steven, the Gems, and Bismuth watched a Lonely Blade movie while eating pizza. Yeah, such old, good times.

"Hey, Steven dude, a question? Is Stephan's mom a sorceress like Azura or any kind of magical person who was born with powers? Because you mentioned that he could travel via dreams?"

That question took him by surprise, of course, Soos didn't know that Steven was talking about his mom in disguise, Pink as a fictional character of a fairytale or something like that. However, when it came to topics that were related to Pink Diamond, being cozy stopped being an option. Answering for her crimes seemed like a constant. Having to say 'Hey, I'm not my mom, just me' kept coming from his mouth to make a point that kept getting blurry and difficult to grasp. 

Well, Soos was only asking if mom was or not a sorceress. He could put her in the warrior magician and animal trainer category because it fit.

"She was a warrior mage and an animal trainer, or more like someone who could talk to animals" Steven hoped fervently that his friend didn’t ask why he was talking about in past tense about her. Even if the new Mr. Mystery didn't know anything about his life, the young hybrid wasn't keen on the idea of opening such can of worms.

But, of course, that was too much to ask because... 

"And was she the hero of the island like his son and Renegade, Future and Puma?" 

Oh, geeeezzzz... 

If someone had asked a long time ago what or who his mom was, Steven gladly would have said that she was a hero, a caring and powerful person who protected everyone and saw the best in everyone and everything.

There were a lot of adjectives and subjectives to describe Pink Diamond, his mother, and in those times of sweet naivety and childishness, he always saw the portrait with such admiration and fondness, like any kid would with their parents or superheroes. 

But as the phrase said: 'When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags'. 

And then, as if the world or the universe were rubbing the evidence in his face, Jasper came to get revenge on him, thinking it was Rose, but he still believed mom was right and was doing the right thing. He still looked up to her. 

Time later, the Ruby squadron, the Diamonds, and Bismuth gave him a new perspective about her and he wasn't that sure anymore. Heck, he was angry. First at the ones who dared to portray her as a villain, and then at Pink for her lies. Was she a good person cornered to do something horrible as it was shattering? Or was she hiding another mess more hideous than killing someone to not deal with it?

And, when Steven thought it couldn't get worse, Pearl revealed the corpse under the rug: Rose Quartz never existed and Pink was never shattered; the first one was just a disguise mom used so she could fake her own death and live on Earth after the war. Oh, and not only that, but she also burdened Pearl with a secret of this magnitude and told her to play the part of the 'shatterer'.

That would have been enough, right? Just fixing her mistakes, healing the corrupted gems, convincing the Diamonds that he wasn't Pink and that they should change to improve both their lives and the lives of all the gems of the gempire.

Guess what? IT. WASN'T!

Because, just when Steven thought he could have his happily ever after and say bye-bye to cleaning after his mom, Spinel came into the picture alongside with the abandonment and another mess Pink had caused. And he had to take care of that while he fought for his life and protected his loved ones. 

AGAIN!! 

Oh, and don't make him start with Volleyball, mom's first Pearl.

He couldn't fucking believe what she did to her!

The poor gem had part of her face cracked and it was impossible to repair! All because mom couldn't stand the fact that she couldn't get what she wanted!!

For fuck's sake, it was unbelievable! Unconceivable! Unacceptable!

No wonder the Diamonds didn't let her have a colony, I mean, he never ruled a colony but he had to help dismantle a whole empire that existed for eons, AND HE WAS A CHILD!!

How messed up it was that a hybrid teenager had to be the mature one in a place full of ageless adults?!

Why couldn't she. Just. Grow up?!

Leaving your friends behind? Lying? Gag-ordering Pearl to not tell anyone about her identity? Hiding mess after mess, letting them festering just for him to fix everything even if it tried to kill him or destroy his home?!

Why didn't he see the red flags? Why couldn't he? Why no one noticed that there were a lot of things wrong? Didn't they notice, did they truly care to, or did Pink deceive them like always?

But no, the Earth was safe, there were no more gems wanting revenge, he and his family and friends were fine and alive.

He was fine, he could be, in fact, he should.

He. Should.

And still!

_'I know, you're still upset.'_

**_'Oh, so it's just me?'_ **

Everyone was upset when they found out about this, about her true identity. What about him, though? He was upset too and no one comforted him but the other way around. Why though? Why saying sorry for something he didn't do wrong when it was mom who should apologize? 

**_'You're... not... as above this... as you... think you are!'_ **

_'Yes, I am.'_

No! They're not! They never were! Not even Pink! Mom ran away and lied, Pearl and Sapphire were crying like babies, Ruby was playing cowboy, Amethyst was trying to cheer him up, Dad was cheering Ruby up, but he never felt more alone. And still, he didn't stop being strong even when he wanted to fall apart and being hold in someone's arms to be safe and protected.

**_'You can't stay angry with her forever.'_ **

**_'Wanna bet?'_ **

He could bet and stay angry all the time he wanted, but for what?! The Gems would be devastated if they were here if they found out about those thoughts, and they never knew how much he suspected that they resented him for existing, for taking her away from them. Even when was Pink's decision to abandon them. 

But it was fine in the end, right? 

Everyone was safe thanks to him. He made sure of that. He had to!

Their feelings, their problems, what mom did to them and never apologized about, all of that he had to fight against so Steven could let them know it was going to be ok even if he didn't feel that confident about that!

_'And we're supposed to be the bigger Gem about this. **We're ALLLLLLWAYS!- the bigger Gem!** '_

He ALWAYS had to be the adult! He had to grow up and fight and protect and take care of problems that weren't even his just because Pink didn't have the guts to do it!

Such hero she turned out to be!! 

_'But she saved the Earth. That should count, right?'_ a tiny voice tried to reason just to be shut by another one. 

_'Well if she wanted to protect it, she did a **lousy job**! There'd be no Cluster if the Earth had stayed a colony. Now there's no colony, and **there's gonna be no Earth** , so thank you, Rose Quartz! **You doomed the planet!** ' _

At this point, Steven's whole body looked like a humanoid neon sign, shining so much that even from miles away he would have been caught like a deer in headlights. He was balling his fists so hard that he could feel a bit of blood coming out of the little wounds his nails were making at the palms of his hands.

The ground, with pieces of trash scattered here and there, looked like a polished, mirror-like floor that reflected his face, then his mom's as Rose Quartz, and then as Pink Diamond. Pink Diamond shattering a wall with her hand, her face enraged. Then his face enraged, scared of such hideous power, of more dark truths about her.

_' **Stop it!** I can't deal with more horrible thing she did, Okay?! I don't want to hear about it! I don't even want to think about it! **I just... want to fix it!** '_

"Why it's not enough? Why it's not enough? Why can't I fix it? Why can't I fix it?" Soon his hands grabbed at his hair and pulled very hard as if he was trying to get rid of something. He was starting to hyperventilate, feeling nauseous, his ears were filled to the top with a buzz, it was driving him crazy!

Was the ground breaking itself or was it him?

Suddenly, he felt as if something was touching his shoulders not too strong but firm enough for his attention to focus on that, or had that happened while he was zoning out?

"Dude, hey dude, it's ok. Breathe. Come on, breathe with me. In and out. In, 1, 2, 3, 4. Out, 1, 2, 3, 4. Slowly"

His breathing was erratic, the voice of his friends sounded like a mix of a whale talking through the water as bizarre as that was, still Soos kept encouraging him to listen to his voice, even resorting to his Mr. Mystery Junior hat to help the hybrid to be grounded.

The softness of the wool, the borders of the hat, prevented Steven from just hearing mumbles, instead, he started to understand what Soos was thinking and breathed in and out while counting on his mind, albeit clumsily, for the rhythm to calm him down. One, two minutes passed and the color of his skin went from neon pink to human pink. 

"Ugh... My head" he only could mutter and stopped pulling hard at his locks, it was a miracle he hasn't torn chunks of his hair like some madman. 

His boss and friend silently took him to the truck, not caring about the materials while looking for something in the rear compartment. Then he entered the pilot seat and gave Steven a water bottle much to his surprise. 

"Take a long sip, dude. You must be thirsty" 

The teenager didn't know how to react with this act of kindness, though now that he remembered, this day was supposed to be incident-free and he failed. 

"Ugh! Man, what a mess! I can't believe this. Sorry, Soos" 

"About what?" Steven looked at him as if the gopher-like man had forgotten what happened moments ago. 

"About what? How about what? Soos, I turned pink! Which was bad news enough. The first time I came here and that happened, my powers caused a lot of trouble. Wait, did I yell or hit someone or something?!" 

"Nope, none of that. But, Steven, you don't need to apologize. You were thinking about something that made you feel bad and then it became overwhelming, and then you thought you were in danger. You just were under a lot of stress and it was suffocating you. I don't know what it was, but whatever it was it must have been heavy stuff, and sometimes, that is difficult to not think about"

"Yeah, it WAS heavy stuff. In capital letters. But still, I made a scene" 

"Don't say that, dude. Suffering an anxiety attack or almost having one is not a scene. You don't have to say sorry for that. I get it. Life can be messy and is full of surprises, even if not all are pretty. The best you can do is process it all on your own terms, and with some help of course. Some help is always welcome"

_'_ _So_ _me help is always welcome'_ Steven repeated in his mind. He then felt like falling, but the dread and despair weren't there but the sensation of someone's hands on his, and worried but determined eyes focused on him as if conveying a message he craved to hear: 'You're not alone'.

_'I didn't want to hurt anyone! I'm sorry! None of them would let me help them! I had no choice!'_

_'It's okay!'_

_'No, it's not!'_

_'But it's okay to think about it!'_

_'It feels so bad!'_

_'That's okay, too! There was nothing else you could've done!'_

_'I don't want to feel this way.'_

_'You have to. **You have to be honest about how bad it feels so you can move on.** That's how it was for me.' _

Could he be honest, though? Could he do it in a new place with new people he was starting to get to know? If he never opened up totally to the Gems, how could Soos and Wendy and maybe the next future friends here in Gravity Falls lend him a hand? 

"Something more on your mind, dude?" Soos asked gently. 

"Just things... And you know, life. Because it's messy. Or maybe it's just my life" 

"Everyone is like that, dude. Some more than others, but, even if this isn't my business, if you want someone to talk to, we can have a little vent chat" 

"For real?" Steven’s expression was disbelief itself. 

"Of course! Friends help one another" 

"I don't want to burden you, though. It's really hard" 

"That's ok. If you aren't sure yet, I won't push you, but if you feel like you can't find a good ear to listen, you know where to find me" 

A kind smile wasn't enough to convince, if not completely, but it gave him something more hopeful to think about than her. It also lifted his spirits somehow too. 

"Thanks. I'll consider it" He replied with a tiny, unsure smile. The heaviness of those bitter, festering thoughts was still there, roaming around, but not that much as before.

After half an hour relaxing and talking a bit about trivial things, Steven was in a better mood to keep working, and despite Soos telling him to go a have another break if he didn't feel like gathering the materials, the boy politely rejected the offer and helped his boss until an hour and a half passed and they were ready to go back to the Shack. 

The metallic clanks and crashes in the back of Soos' truck kind of worried the hybrid, because they had loaded a lot for new exhibitions that were going to be based on Steven’s 'fictional stories' as he called them in his mind. He had decided to be some from his adventures like Malachite's origins, Alexandrite VS Malachite, meeting Lion for the first time, and riding him to save the gem-encrusted pillow. 

It was hard to believe, though, that his gem missions were going to be seen by tourists in a tourist trap as if he was performing in front of thousands of people. Then he remembered that he, in fact, had done that time ago when he went to stage for Saddie who didn't want to sing because her mom didn't let her make her own decisions about how to do the things she liked, or when he made that commercial for every gem of the former empire to see. Or that time when he talked in the Little Graduation which...well...did end with a bittersweet taste.

Maybe it was better to focus on today for now.

\--------------------------

The rest of the day passed in kind of a blur. First, the preparations for the exhibitions, then performing for some tourists and handing some souvenirs, and finally, overhearing -accidentally, of course- two guys, Nate and Lee, if he heard right, who were pleading to another guy, someone called Thompson, to not 'spill the beans' about something, and for how anxiously they were talking it seemed to be an ugly business, so, he decided to go clean somewhere else without being noticed.

The day turned into evening and the evening was starting to turn into night. Soos was counting the money they had earned, Wendy was reading a magazine and Steven laughed a bit at some bobblehead figurines who looked grumpy but endearing at the same time.

He could've kept enjoying it if it weren't for a furious voice who roared in utter indignation.

"WHAT THE FUCK?! WHO THE HELL DID THIS TO THE TOTEM TOWER?!" 


	5. Welcome to Memoryland! (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What about some siblings' feelings and relationships to stop thinking about mommy issues or fixed traumatic problems?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again a long hiatus, but here I am with a new chapter!  
> Also, I want to thank Hansledane for helping me with the grammar and some mistakes in the sense of the content.  
> Thank you for your compliments too, Hans! You're the best :)!

The yelling stopped the three workers of the Shack, but unlike the apprehension and confusion Steven was feeling that moment, Soos and Wendy looked at each other with surprise, and the gopher-like man broke into a big smile.

"I can't believe it! They're here!" his boss ran out the door, not caring about closing it.

"They? Who is he talking about?" asked Steven with a brow raised to Wendy.

"The Stan twins. Remember those photos of the swamp dragon? Stanley appeared in one of them. His brother, Stanford, and he have been sailing around the world since the end of the summer 3 years ago, though they return every few months to pay a visit, meanwhile, Soos takes care of the Mystery Shack because Stan made him the new Mr. Mystery.

Anyway, wanna see what is going on out there? Being here is getting kind of boring" both teenagers got out of the Shack and Wendy started laughing after watching the scene in front of them.

At the side of the totem pole, the head of which was upside down, were Stan and Ford, trapped in a huge bear hug by Soos. Despite the complaints from both of them, Steven could see their lips drawing an amused smile on their faces and their hands patting the young man’s back.

"OK, ok, Soos, put me down. You know I have a reputation to uphold, I can't let others see me getting so mushy" said one of the twins, his voice hoarse and gravely, and was wearing a hat that seemed to be hand-made.

"If by reputation; you mean the fact that you are a human-sized grumpy teddy bear, and are too proud to accept it, then forget about it. Everyone knows you have a soft side" the other man inside of Soos's hug smirked teasingly at his look-alike companion.

The first man hit the other's head playfully, smiling and laughing, "Look who's talking about being a softy grumpy. At least, I didn't cry at the last episode of The Duchess Approves"

"I'll have you know that the last episode was an emotional and cathartic outcome from a long list of attempts to eliminate an oppressive system and well-written dynamics.

"Yeah, yeah, Mr. Sappy. Whatever. Anyway, Soos, are you going to put us down? My ribs feel like twigs being snapped in two"

"Oh yeah, sorry" Steven’s boss released both men who straightened their clothes.

Then, Stanley glanced at Steven much to the hybrid's embarrassment. The adolescent just waved shyly and smiled as a hello, though the ex-criminal didn’t return the gesture.

"Who's that kid?" asked Stan, pointing at Steven.

Soos quickly dashes to Steven’s side. "Guys, this here is a friend of mine, and a new worker at the Shack, Steven Universe. Steven, Dr. Pines, and Mr. Pines"

"Uh, hey, nice to meet you" the kid tried again with an awkward smile.

"So, a new worker at the Shack, huh?" Stanley approached in an intimidating way until he extended his hand to the teenager "I hope you can empty every sucker's wallet that comes here, kid. It's mandatory"

Steven looks up at Soos, not getting the point.

"It's his way to say hello" whispers Mr. Mystery Junior.

“Don’t mind him, son. Trust me, his tough persona is like the shell of a mollusk, it may seem hard on the outside, but from the inside is incredibly soft"

Stan sent a narrowed-eye glare at his twin, though there were no ill feelings in his eyes. “And this is why you should let me do all the talking.”

"Hahaha" Ford chuckled and extended his hand to Steven too. The hybrid's vision orbs widened at seeing not five but six fingers; the researcher caught his expression and withdrew his hand, feeling self-unconscious.

"Wow, you have six fingers?!"

"Mmmm, yeah, polydactyly isn't in the family, to be honest. I just happened to get it."

Steven noticed the discomfort in the scientist’s voice.

"Oh, sorry, didn't mean to pry or anything. It's just I've never seen someone with 6 fingers before" 'No one who wasn't a gem or have shapeshifting powers' "But I think it pretty cool.”

"Well then, maybe I can give you a lesson or two about polydactyly and the probability for it to appear in a generation, how about that?"

Steven was about to answer when Stan interrupted by putting his arms around both the young man and his brother.

"Alright, nerds. Let’s head inside the shack first, then you two can talk about whatever nerd stuff you want."

"Oh-oh! Are you going to tell us about your recent discoveries, Mr. Pines?" Soos asked very excitedly.

"What about that one where a huge machine was descending from the sky and it looked like a gigantic syringe?"

"Great! I'll order pizza"

“I’d like a vegetarian one, please.” This would be a very interesting meeting.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It was 8:30 pm and the Shack was filled with laughter, funny stories, and the most bizarre findings of the Stan twins.

“Ford started talking about a particularly frustrating anomaly that had had catastrophic effects on the earth’s oceans. I can’t believe it happened while I was still so far from home. I mean, this is something more common in the...other countries I’ve been to.” He glanced at Steven nervously, hoping he hasn’t perceived the pause before saying ‘other countries’.

“And remember when you thought Cipher was responsible for the oceans disappearing?” Ford shot Ley an angry glare and got an indifferent shrug in response.

Steven slowly turned to Soos, recognizing the name from one of his many stories. "Cipher? As in the… triangular demon guy you told me about?"

Ford and Stan directed their eyes at the gopher-like man who shrugged while laughing awkwardly.

"So, uh, y-yeah... - I, uhh, may have shared a few adventures with my dood.”

“Soos! I SPECIFICALLY instructed everyone to keep quiet about anything remotely related to Bill! It was a miracle that no one outside of gravity falls noticed the LITERAL TEAR IN REALITY or any of the other ludicrous things that damn demon caused during Weirdmaggedon.”

Steven, subconsciously, shrunk in on himself, feeling awfully bad for getting Soos in trouble.

“Oh, come on, Dr. Pines.” Wendy intervened in the young in Soos’s defense. "He is gone, Weirdmaggedon is over and he won't come back, like ever. And what if Steven found out that not only Soos knew about that triangular jerk? I mean, he even--"

She was going to say that the hybrid had powers. She was going to say that his skin turned pink for no reason she could know. Heck, that the boy was able to destroy things with a single scream.

Oh shit!

No, nonononononononononononono!

She couldn't! 

“NO, WAIT! DON’T-“ Steven yelled, his cheeks flushing with a bright neon pink, though he was too concerned with his ‘secret’ being revealed to notice the change, right up until he saw the expressions of shocked intrigue and curiosity respectively on the Pines’s faces, as well as the look of discomfort Soos and Wendy shared with each other.

"Sweet Moses, your cheeks are glowing!" Ford yelped, the shock in his voice enough to elevate the severity of Steven's self-consciousness.

“Uuuuhhh…” Steven’s mouth felt dry, and as he tried to speak, he felt as though his tongue was buckling in on itself. Fortunately, Stanley came to his rescue.

“Welp, I’ve seen weirder. Glowin’ skin is hardly anything. Also…” he said as he leaned over, and slapped the back of Ford’s head.

"What was that for?" Ford asked, rubbing the now sore spot.

"You were making the kid uncomfortable. Seriously, the kid has enough manners to apologize to you when starin’ made you uncomfortable, and yet here you are, lookin’ as you wanna dissect him!”

"My polydactyly is just a minuscule mutation in comparison with his... Condition? Suddenly-manifested power?”

“It can be whatever the hell you want, but he’s not a shiny specimen for you to prod!”

Stan groaned. His brother, despite being a genius, could be so oblivious to people's reactions to certain things sometimes. "The point is that your staring’n’yelling is putting him in a spotlight he doesn't want"

"It’s not that you aren’t surprised by this, are you!?" And just like that, an all too familiar verbal tennis match began.

Steven forgot his discomfort and watched the siblings argue about what was more shocking: someone with six or more fingers or a person whose cheeks flush in another color.

"Don't worry, man" Wendy assured him with a cool smile "This is a common thing. At least it's much better than 3 years ago. Soos told me they used to fight like cats and dogs over whatever. Anyway, why'd you interrupted me back there?"

"It's because of my powers, Wendy!" he scolded her in a whisper "Have you forgotten what I did 2 days ago?"

To Steven’s surprise, Wendy just leaned back, and let a causal, yet confident, smile stretch across her face, appearing to be not at all concerned with the danger Steven posed.

"Dude, if Soos and I had thought you were some kind of psycho with superpowers disguised as a kid, we would've tried to stop you. But you’ve been here for two days now, Steven, and you haven’t done anything else. You have literally only tried to be helpful to Soos and the shack. It was just an accident, Steven. A superpowered accident, sure, but still just an accident.” Wendy reassured him.

"Trust me. Only Cipher can make Ford paranoid and force Stan to be in offensive mode. They were just curious about your 'uniqueness', especially Stanford. He loves investigating the supernatural"

_'Should I feel offended or flattered by that?'_ That was a good question but it didn't go to his list of priorities, like the fact that he needed to stop the Pines twins and explain, and also apologize to Soos for getting him in trouble.

"Guys. Hey, guys" they weren't listening, still wrapped in their arguing.

Soos then whistled loudly to get their attention, making them flinch because he was close to them.

"Ouch! Soos, don't do that! My hearing aids will fry themselves at this rate!" Stan complained, trying to fix one of the hearing aids that was starting to bother him.

"Thanks, Soos" his friend smiled at him. Steven sighed before speaking "So, I know my...pink" he spat that word as if it were rotten "cheeks may be a huge surprise for you even when, well, you know, you have dealt with stranger and...more dangerous things, I guess. But, just to cut it short, yeah, I have powers. And yes, my cheeks glow in that color because of them"

Stanford looked at the teenager with a frown, not the suspicious one he resorted to when something seemed fishy. Not a disapproving frown either but a pensive one. The gears of his mind worked in an instant and then his eyes widened with realization, it was as if a lightbulb was turned on above his head.

"I get it. If I'm correct, your cheeks glowed when you were under certain pressure, that means that your powers are related to your emotional state"

Wow, very fast. Steven was impressed.

"Yes, exactly"

"Fascinating" Stanford mumbled and looked in the pockets of his trench coat for a notebook and a pen, but then he remembered both of them were in Stan's car. "If you excuse me, I need to look for my things"

"Come on, Pointdexter. The kid is not a specimen to revise. Although, now that I think about it, that glowing could be quite the exhibition. I'll call him, 'Glowing Boy', heck he could be a host for teenage girls' parties. Mabel would love him, she is a fan of pink stuff"

Steven was at a loss for how to feel about those statements. The fact that Stan said he wasn't a specimen was considerate until he put his focus on the money he could gain with Steven's haywire powers, which was rude. But hurtful or not, it was much better than the destructive screaming whenever he reached a breaking point -hahaha, get it? Breaking Point- or jailing his friends in a pink dome in utter desperation to feel needed.

“Mr. Pines, don’t be like that, Steven would feel very uncomfortable in an exhibition room, like that one time you made Dipper be in one.”

"Soos, that was a wolf disguise, this here is powers. Real powers!”

_‘More like my gem going nuts.’_ Steven wanted to opine, but 90% of him craved a distraction from his worsening condition.

“I’m on…uh…hiatus. Yeah, that. I’m on vacation right now. Besides, the first time I came here, my powers didn't help that much, they just...caused trouble"

This time the suspicious frown was on Stan's face. Scrutinizing him, studying him.

"Kid, let me tell you this and you'd better remember it. My nephew is very smart, but he thought hunting an extremely dangerous monster to use as a living exhibition was a good idea. The next thing I know is that the Shack was partially destroyed and two tourists went insane because of that thing's cursed eyes"

"I still can't believe you let them run the Shack on their own while you went to look for money and win that stupid bet between you and the kids! I admit I'm proud that Dipper's hunt was successful, but it was still incredibly irresponsible"

"Oi, I don't have to remind you that you sent Mabel to find some unicorn hair with a crossbow"

"Unicorns are lying jerks, Stanley. The Gremloblin, on the other hand, is a creature that when threatened or upset can get terribly violent. I don't want another repeat of what happened with Fiddleford years ago"

"Anyway, the point here is that you kid can have whatever powers you want as long as the Shack is in one piece"

"Then, I promise you that I will be careful. Or try to be" seconds later, a question crossed his mind "So, Dr. Ford, right?" Stanford nodded "You mentioned an anomaly where the seas and oceans disappeared. What was that about?"

"Unfortunately, my boy, Stan is the only one with information about it. I wish I was there, though. All the saltwater on the planet disappearing, is an event even I find hard to believe, and I have seen a substantial amount of unimaginable experiences"

Steven looked at Stanley this time and he explained before the kid could ask the same question "I just know about it because of the news. The Gravity Falls channel system is so outdated, especially the one of the news, but once in a while, if the world goes bonkers or something, they just put that with some images for rating. And what I saw back then, to be honest, I couldn't believe it. I thought it was made up by some conspirationist with a thirst for fame or something. I mean, the seas and oceans weren't gone gone, they had retreated as if the Earth was drinking them, and then bam! There it was! A monstrous tower made of water that was reaching the sky!"

W-What?

Wait a second. It couldn't be, could it? That sounded awfully familiar.

"Uuuuhhh, before you continue, Mr. Pines, can someone here show me a picture of it?"

Wendy grabbed her cellphone and looked through her WhatsApp until she found the link Tambry had sent her that day. "Here, dude" Steven took the cellphone, which displayed a web page containing numerous images of colossal stretches of a naked seafloor and towering ships of many shapes and sizes, lying on their sides. It looked surreal, certainly not like something that belonged to planet Earth. And yet, with a sinking feeling in his chest, Steven knew that it did. That this was what Lapis had done, now many years ago.

An event he had lived through in one of his missions. He inspected the image, just to make sure it wasn't a trick for his eyes, some kind of messed up prank made by people who didn't have anything better to do.

When he found the date when the pictures were taken, his skin went totally pale. This picture was taken 3 years ago. 3 years ago, he was on his way with his family trying to stop Lapis from stealing the ocean, though it wasn't only the ocean near his hometown. According to the web page, the rest of the seas and oceans disappeared and took the shape of a colossal column, until it fell apart and the water returned to its original place.

His fingers moved across the screen in a frenzy, he didn’t know what he was finding, though a part of him was desperate to figure out who had taken the picture, and had published it on the internet. His first suspicion was Ronaldo. Fuck, perhaps one of Ronaldo’s followers communicated with him about the source of the info and the pictures which would be a gold mine for the weirdness-loving young man’s blog.

Oh man, so people knew about this. Not Steven’s side of the story, the truth, of course, but just the main event. So, it happened 3 years ago, what was the problem? No one was going to find out he was friends with Lapis, who had stolen all the planet's water while trying to go back to Homeworld.

"Hey, Steven dude, are you ok? You look like you've seen a ghost" Soos' concerned voice brought him back from his reverie, the teenager's eyes quickly checking everyone's expressions. Soos and Wendy looked worried, Stanford looked at him with a mixture of pensiveness and suspicion, and Stanley only had a raised brow, along with a glint in his vision orbs, as if he believed Steven had something to do with this.

“Ok, this is... Well, this is really extraordinary, in a sense I mean. Can't believe something like this happened" he had hoped his remark would have directed all suspicion away from him, but Stan saw through him.

Anyway, it wasn’t his business. Though, despite that, Steven persisted in derailing everyone’s attention to this issue.

_'Quick, Steven! Quick! Say something that can make you look less suspicious!'_ Steven thought frantically. Whatever Stan was thinking about him, and his potential involvement with the oceans disappearing needed to be quelled immediately. He wasn't sure why, but being kicked out for something he was trying to fix didn't sound pleasant.

"I used to live on the beach" his explanation begun "My house was right in front of one. My family and I saw what happened with the water, which was a huge problem because my town is called Beach City for a reason, and tourists wouldn't be happy to visit it if they found out the beach had been replaced with a massive desert.

Despite not wanting to lie, Steven felt proud of himself and this tiny lie of omission. Yeah, what he said about his hometown, and the consequences it had suffered during Lapis’ misdeed was true, but he didn't mention her at all. It was also strange that he was happy with his well-told lie when Steven, in the past, had been fed up with the Gems not telling him the truth about mom, or when he had to deal with the repercussions of her lies in the form of a vengeful gem who was wronged by Pink.

Anyway, the good news is that Stan seemed to believe his lie, just that, he 'seemed' because the con man didn't ask more questions. However, his brother, with the gears of his mind still working, formulating new solutions to solve the mystery, shot the next question:  
“Is your home a magnet of weirdness? Because our first proof is your skin glowing due to emotional stress, and now, there is this new information about the beach, where your house is located, disappearing.”

Bizarre, strange, rare, weird. He never cared or was bothered with those words. But the more he fought for his life and to protect his family, and the more mistakes of his mother he had to fix, the bigger the toll it was on him. Normality. Now he wanted that, just for one second.

A mundane, tranquil life. Peace and quiet.

Wishing for that hurt terribly. Before Spinel's attack, he was dreaming of a beautiful and relaxing retirement alongside his friends. No more fights, no more dangerous missions, no more explosive resentments, or anything else even remotely problematic. Just him and his loved ones enjoying life and the fruits of all their hard work, displayed through Little Homeworld being finished, and the healed gems being free and building their own identities. His happily ever after would be like a dream coming true. Or it was supposed to be because moments later Spinel appeared and he had to fix another mess. And after that, what? More gems coming for him to satisfy their thirst for revenge? Something like that. The mistakes his mom made stopped being the problem. Being in Gravity Falls, learning to live on his own was the evidence.

He left the Gems, Dad, and Connie. No one depended on him anymore. No one yelled for help. The universe wasn’t threatened by the Diamonds or another corrupted alien empire. The magic behind his journey of purpose and heroism died. 

What a mess, right? As if having overzealous gems who disagreed with Era 3 and the new politics created to promote respect and freedom for all gemkind screaming death at your doorstep wasn’t bad enough. Happily, the issue was temporary. Eyeball and Aquamarine were defeated and escaped, but they weren't so much of a threat; the two Lapises were defeated and persuaded by Lapis, the nice one becoming a new student at Little Homeschool; her partner though, they didn't know where she went or if she was still terraforming. Jasper? No, she was infuriating, but never attacked Little Homeworld or the Crystal Gems, just went to live in the woods she had destroyed. So, Steven should be happy, right? The new enemies were taken care of, the conflicts were resolved, everything was fine.

Of course, working in Little Homeschool had been exhausting, the routine turned into something monotonous and he went numb because of it, but the hard work was for a good cause, so it was fine in the end, right?

Steven wanted to believe that he could take a break from all the stress caused by vengeful gems or violent disagreements against his way of doing things, though it didn't happen.

As if some kind of switch had changed his speed from 100% to pffffft zero, his friends started leaving, moving on to better things. Their lives went at a pace he couldn't keep up with, having plans and talking about promising futures while he was stuck in the same place, in the same mindset, not knowing why and begging to be needed. Always feeling as though something was missing, his body and mind full of sensations of danger and pain even when there was nothing to worry about.

In the end, this imposed 'vacation' wasn't so much a truth as it was a disguise for his true reasons for being here, very far away from anything weird.

"If you're going to ask me about what did I do with the anomaly, then let me tell you this. Easy peasy, I fixed it. My home is safe and it will never happen again. Ever" he continued as if his turbulent storm of thoughts hadn't happened at all, his fake confidence covering the nervousness from reminiscing the whole ocean debacle and remembering the exhaustion and sense of being lost before leaving home.

"Fascinating" the same word came out of the scientist's mouth. In all his years traveling through dimensions, he had never met someone with Steven’s abilities, condition. Whatever it was, the mystery was challenging. His curiosity was thirsty for answers. What Steven could do in a good headspace, under pressure or facing danger?

More importantly, was he totally human or a hybrid? The second possibility seemed plausible, he looked totally human, normal, average. However, Stanford had his fair share of...disturbing experiences with malicious creatures who pretended to be humans also trapped in another dimension like him, just to ambush him and show their true colors. Though, the kid wasn't giving any red flags since he had met him.  
Maybe some other questions could help unravel this mystery.

Stanley was a different story. His 10 years of lying, cheating and conning in order to survive on the streets and his time as the conman of the Mystery Shack had taught him how to be a good judge of character. Every movement and expression, word and tone of voice, were like pieces for him to construct an image of what was happening inside someone’s head. Not that he was a mind-reader, but his perceptiveness was pretty sharp. That's why Cipher ended up a statue.

And for some reason, Steven’s behavior was like watching himself in a mirror or seeing a younger version of himself mentally shapeshifting to interact optimally with the conman's family. The charismatic smile, the gestures, the exuberant confidence, the way to analyze how to deflect some topics. Yeah, he was like that a long time ago.

Pretending to be strong and brave when you didn't even believe in yourself, just to show everyone how much you could do. Because if there was nothing but vulnerability, how were you going to face the world? You would be the prey for anyone.

High school and trying to impress had Pa felt that way. Climbing a mountain whose peak you would never reach. Wow, so depressing. Stan wondered if the kid was going through that too, but he doubted it. Maybe it was something else.

"So, kid, you live near a beach, right?" Steven nodded. "Our home is also near a beach. Heck, our hometown is called Glass Shard Beach."

"Because people made glass there?"

"Ha! Good one, but no. There were a lot of broken bottles on the shore, but the place wasn't that bad. Ford and I used to play there, messing with the swing, looking for adventure. The best part was when we found that old, abandoned boat inside that cave. Right, Pointdexter?"

"One of our fondest memories. We spent hours and hours crafting our world, searching for the Jersey Devil, repairing the boat to one day sail together. Just like old times. Wherever we go,--"

"We go together!" Stan finished his twin's sentence and trapped him in a headlock to give him a noogie. Ford's taken aback expression turned into laughter as he also did the same with Stan, both acting like children, not caring at all that the others were watching them.

What a sweet sibling bond! Those two were so different, yet complemented each other so well, even when there were times their personalities clashed, and Steven still didn't know them at all. Nonetheless, the sentimentality brought him to tender moments shared with Amethyst.

Amethyst, how might she be doing right now? Freaking out, that was pretty obvious.

She always cared for him in her quartz-y way, cheering him up, playing games, making jokes.

He never had a brother or a sister, but if he could choose, then the purple gem would be his first option. They had been through a lot together, both good and bad.

He tried to fix her gem and save her life. That was the first time he thought he was going to lose a family member. They fought Jasper and each other when the cruel insults of the gem had crushed Amethyst's self-esteem. He taught her to love herself, to feel proud of herself. She became more mature, growing concerned about his increasing stress due to helping everyone else but himself.

_'But what about you?! She's your mom! You were always under all this pressure to be like her!'_

  
_'I thought I was pretty clear too! I feel like I don't wanna say, "What about me?" Okay!? And I don't want to be bent out of shape! I don't wanna be stuck in the past, and I'm not responsible for what Rose did! None of us are! Not you... Not Pearl... And not Garnet! But I am responsible for me! And right now, I am NOT gonna dump another thousand-year-old complex on you or anybody else! I'm ending it right here! I am the ding-dong sunshine future; your friend forever! And I'm not gonna fall apart on you!'_

Steven witnessed how White controlled Amethyst, stripping her from her flaws and imperfections that helped her to be stronger and wiser, using her as a puppet to torment him.

Both watched their efforts paying off when the corrupted gems were finally healed, and when Little Homeschool was being built. She was taken away from him when Spinel rejuvenated her, turning her into a shell of the kind and laid-back gem she was. Until he brought her back with their bond and kindness, the hardships and problems they solved together.

But nothing could last forever. Amethyst had grown so much, and then she surpassed him. She became such an excellent teacher, her potential clear as the day. Meanwhile, he was messing up, feeling disheartened, nothing was going his way. No happy ending for him after years of ensuring his family and friends had that chance. As if karma didn't have the mood to gift him with the happiness he deserved.

No way, however, he was going to let envy destroy what Amethyst had built with so much effort. Apart from that, if he couldn't be on the same page as her concerning maturity, then what was the point? With a single 'Get over yourself', problems couldn't be fixed or magically disappear.

And he hated to be selfish in wishing to not lose his touch and still be there with her, but things had to change. He was just trapped in a blur of nothingness.

Directionless.

  
 _'Don't! Don't think about it.'_ He admonished himself. Raising suspicions in front of his new friends was the last thing he needed to face, it was better to just focus on the golden, funny aspects of what was his life and try to move on.

"You two remind me of a very good friend of mine." Steven started, pushing those troublesome musings to a corner of his mind, on a leash. Wendy, Soos, and the Stan Twins, turned to him. "Well, uh, I don't have any siblings. I'm an only child, but I have a friend who's like a big sister to me. Amethyst, that's her name. She loved having fun, messing around, eating any kind of food. She was an adventurer."

"Sounds like me." Stan opined. Steven nodded; partially, he was right, both Ford and Stan were like a mirror for the boy and his friend. Then, a realization crossed his mind. "Wait, wait. One of you mentioned Jersey, right?" Ford raised a hand, signaling 'It was me'. "Another friend flew me there. Well, not there there, just close enough to see the letter that said Jersey."

"You flew to New Jersey?" Ford couldn't be more flabbergasted, though the sentiment had an edge of worry.

"Yeeesh, you'd better watch out if you go to our hometown, kid. That place hasn't changed that much to be safe."

"Uh, no-no. I didn't exactly travel to New Jersey. There was a town called Jersey Turnpike, that's where my friend and I flew. I wanted to show her some things because she was new and preferred to live on the outskirts. In a barn."

"Phew. Then good for you. I don't have any idea how people are doing in Glass Shard Beach, but if for some reason you have to go there, be careful if you take a taxi."

"Why? Is it that dangerous like one of those morbid streets on action movies?"

"Not dangerous, son. Just..." Ford evaluated what word could describe better the experience "Extremely uncomfortable and bothersome. The reason, our school bully, Crampelter."

"Yep. When Ma told us that he ended up driving a taxi I, at first, thought she was lying. So we decided to pay her a visit and guess what?"

Steven was unsure if he was supposed to respond, or merely wait for the answer, though, for the sake of humoring them he said: "It was a joke?"

"No! He was indeed a cabbie! Ahahahahahaha!" Stan's laughter sounded like a roar of triumph, his right fist pounding the table "Oh, God! It was so hilarious! He always sneered at us, saying that Ford and I would always be a pair of nobodies. And don't make me start with that imbecile of our school principal and his 'That clown is only good for scrapping barnacles from a taffy story'. Yeah, fuck that, buddy. I got the best and while that fatball of Crampelter can barely fill his wallet. Got what he deserved."

"A bad track record with bullies, ah?"

"The worst." Both men replied simultaneously.

"Let's just say Amethyst and I also had our own share of bullies. Jasper was the first big one. Crampelter has some similarities with her. Mocking others with hurtful words, acting all superior, pushing your buttons. Man, she was obsessed with defeating her."

"Sad indeed. Kids these days lack empathy, you could even say sometimes they are born as psychopaths." Ford opined solemnly. If being taught by Pa had taught him anything, it was that the outside world didn't have time for weaklings, he preferred not to know what Crampelter's family had put in his consciousness to be such an asshole.

"Coming from personal experience, I wouldn't say Jasper was a psychopath. She was loyal to her core, but it was misguided and, as much as it pains me to say it, the gesture ended up being one-sided."

"Another bully she was following?" Stan queried.

Bully... It's such a complex word to use on mom. The former Diamond and leader of the Crystal Gems being called a ‘bully’ didn't fit with the mixed image he had of her.

Flawed, selfish, brave, impulsive, a warrior, a rebel, a liar, a fraud, a coward, deceptive, inspiring, awesome, awful. The list could keep going on, but the word 'bully' would never sit well within Pink's identity.

A new question knocked on the door, how do you define a bully?

"Alright, so, how a person can become a bully? Because the one Jasper used to be faithful towards was never described like that."

"Crampelter represented the stereotypical bully." Then Ford started counting the characteristics. "Rude, broke rules whenever he wanted, did whatever he desired, had a group of goons to corner his victims, resorting to insults and violence to instill fear in other kids, lack of empathy."

"And he loved showing off with how he was so much better than anyone else, even his followers," Ley added.

Let's see. Breaking rules? His mom became a rebel. Did anything she wanted? Pearl and Dad said mom was like that. Used insults and violence? That aspect was more common in Jasper, mom was pretty violent, yeah, but she had a lot of issues. Though, the quartz veteran also had them.

Mmmm, what about taking advantage of the commitment of part of her followers? Mom pretended to be Rose Quartz, the sworn enemy of the empire and, at the time, of Pink Diamond. Next, as a way to demonstrate she was fighting the rebels to prevent suspicions from her fellow Diamonds, she created the Beta Kindergarten and with that Jasper, Carnelian, Skinny, and other gems came. And Jasper became this undyingly devoted warrior to mom. But mom then made her believe she was dead which prompted Jasper to mourn her in vain for thousands of years.

Is that how a bully acted too? Not that much. Nonetheless, manipulation felt like another trait on the list.

"You know, despite everything Jasper has done to me and Amethyst, I kind of feel bad for her. She had this sole person she valued and admired so much; you would expect some reciprocation because pure loyalty inspires you to do the same. Her case was the opposite. All her devotion wasn't returned, that person faked her death and Jasper mourned her for nothing. I know she has done horrible things to my family and me, still, I felt Jasper could've had a better chance at life."

"You're a mushy fella, kid. Trust me, I'm not the guy who is considerate of the ones who hurt my family. But I'm not going to judge you for being forgiving and kind."

"Wow, thanks." Steven felt flattered.

"People are sometimes the product of their environment. Not many decide to step away from such toxic lifestyles; the positive is that persons like you don't delve too much into grudges and try to be more understanding which is admirable."

The hybrid teenager blushed at the praise. Even coming from strangers, he barely knew, these words meant the world for him. Although, inside his heart that many people have described as compassionate, black holes existed too. Those moments of anger and spite towards certain figures, the people who sent him to the worst moments of his life.

"I appreciate the compliments. But what would you say if I told you I haven't forgiven someone in my life? That I don't feel like I want to? Am I still worthy of admiration?" A huge division took place in Steven's feelings. The Pines twins, Soos and Wendy had been so hospitable, it wouldn't be fair to lay out all of his problems on the table because there was no one to talk to. On the other hand, their opinions would be different than his family's and friends'. The Gems would have freaked out knowing what he had gone through, new wars would have erupted, peace needed to be stable not at the edge of falling apart. He remained silent to permit a new era to thrive even when the options to vent were gone.

"Tough question, man," Wendy selected her words carefully before explaining. "I mean, we don't have any idea of the kind of jerks you've dealt with, and you either with us. Whatever, if you wanna screw someone over because they did the same, who's going to stop you, right? And why should others judge you? You were hurt, angry, it sucked, and that idiot never considered it would leave a mark. All of us have held grudges and forgave. One thing you can't forget is that there are limits."

"Yeah... Bill Cipher is one of them." This time, Soos spoke. His eyes glanced at Stanford a bit before pronouncing the dream demon's name like asking for permission to say it, which was granted. "It's difficult to forget what he had done to the town. Many here still fear him."

The phrase 'I fear White Diamond' was at the tip of his tongue. He could relate to the sensation of being a cornered, injured animal trying to escape the clutches of a hunter. But Steven didn't want to keep reliving those hideous memories. The last time he did, he made a scene in front of Soos and Wendy which was embarrassing. He only asked a question to have a second opinion, not to break down.

"There was...someone...whom I had to reason with and it was the most complicated task I had to do in my life. She never listened to me, respected my opinion, or tried to see things from another perspective. Her mantra was 'I'm all perfect and everything and everyone else are wrong'. She even turned my family against me, forced them to attack me!" The audience of four paled considerably, formulating different scenarios and conclusions. "The worst part is that she almost... She wanted me to..."

His skin hurt. The sharp, gigantic nails penetrating his flesh, pulling mercilessly, extracting his most important organ. His other half.

The life evaporating at a high speed while he crawled to the gem version of him. The silhouettes of mom when she was Pink and Rose Quartz making a mess of his mind. White didn't believe him; she was talking to a Pink in her head, someone who was a long-time goner.

_'It's time to come out, Pink~.'_

He wasn't her! Why couldn't she listen? He wasn't pretending!

"Hey, dude. It's ok. Whatever happened back then it's over. You don't have to tell us if you're not ready. You're safe here." Soos placed both hands on his shoulders, massaging the sore muscles to alleviate the tension.

Steven bit his lower lip, the tears gathering more and more at the corners of his eyes but unable to pass due to the sheer will acting as a barrier.

For a moment, the world seemed devoid of words or any kind of communication, although everyone's mind, except for Steven's, were sharing telepathically their concerns towards the boy.

"Much better." Soos broke the silence, satisfied to have helped Steven calm down. "Do you want to take a break? You look drowsy, buddy."

"Y-" Yes, that was the magic word to get him out of this, but it would mean closing himself off. And he had done that too many times to be healthy for him. "N-No. I just... I just wanted to know what you thought about this. B-Because..." _'Because I can't stand being a fortress anymore when I really just want to be held for a moment. Because I'm done with people going nuts instead of doing something.'_

"I-I-I... I..." What was wrong with him?! The message was this close to getting out, but at the same time, it pushed itself back to remain in the shadows. All due to being far to use to storing the most nauseating events of his life in a trunk for the world to never see. "I hate this!" He spat it out. "I hate that I can't talk to anyone about this. The only person who witnessed what happened to me back then was my best friend. She was there helping me, but SHE targeted Connie too! M-My family... They don't know. None of them are aware of what she did to me."

"Did she brainwash them?" Ford's queried.

"Yeah!... Sort of. They became her puppets. Blank slates. It haunts me. She stole their personalities, their flaws, what made them so unique. And she laughed! Doesn't it disgust you? Like, she acted as if she was making the universe a favor by imposing her ideals into people through violence, and-and manipulation... But what can I do? Tell my family about it and see how they march into a new war? She is too dangerous, too powerful. So, I kept it secret. What conflicts with me most is that I'm not sure what to feel about her. Hate her forever? I would have gray hair all over me and I'm too young for that. Forgiving her? Sure, she may have changed, but every time I close my eyes, I'm in front of her and no matter how many times I beg her to stop, she keeps tormenting me. It's wearing me down."

"To fuck with the whore, kid!" 4 pairs of eyes shot straight to Stan, mortified by his vulgar choice of words. "What?! It's true! Hell, Steven agrees with me even if he doesn't say so." The conman straightened his back, his glare piercing the teenager as a spear but with no malice or hostility against him. "Look, Steven, just because that bitch has changed, that doesn't give her a VIP card to make you feel uncomfortable. You don't wanna anything to do with her? Fine, then don't. Whether she cries or kneels before you to give her a second chance, you shouldn't feel obligated to give in. I mean, what you were planning to do was talking to her, but did she listen? No. Worse than that, she attacked you, use your family as minions, manipulated you. For what? Who knows. Maybe for fun or because she hated to admit her ideals were crazy."

"The second one," Steven whispered, his voice emotionally drained.

"Whatever the reason is, she ruined it. And even if she has shown some capacity of change, that isn't a free pass to invite herself into your life."

A tiny fraction of an insurmountable weight in his chest was lifted as if a magic potion had healed part of a festering wound. He shouldn't feel obligated. He had the right to say no. He had to stand up for his boundaries. He did have boundaries. If someone changed their mind, that didn't mean they deserved forgiveness instantly.

How many times has he being forgiving, considerate, and caring despite the weariness in his body and the exasperation in his mind? How many times his barrier has been tackled or destroyed and no apologies came? And he still caved in, bottling his frustrations because the greater good at that moment was more important than what he was feeling.

Steven never told Connie that, even when sometimes she pushed him to communicate because his perceptive friend noticed the signs, the apprehensiveness. How his hands grabbed his shirt and twisted it in a way to protect his gem. How a switch in his consciousness was turned and he became distant like swallowed up by a trance. Nonetheless, he wouldn't forgive himself if he put more of his issues on her hands to lead him to a solution. Connie didn't deserve that, not after being there for him in the worst moments of his life.

Snap! His mouth closed. Everything was better than dragging Connie down with him. But now he was here, in the Mystery Shack, talking to his new friends who weren't spiraling out of control or dying of angst as he feared. They were worried, yes, yet supportive and wise in a way he had craved for a long time.

It was refreshing. For as many times he had searched for refuge, a guardian to lean on, someone resilient and comprehensive, his family could only run in circles like headless chickens.

"T-Thanks, Mr. Pines. I needed to hear that." Wetness on his cheeks surprised him; immediately he scrubbed his eyes, sniffing a bit.

"If there is something you should know about us, son, is that we have forgiven certain people and let go of the ones who were hurting us too much for us to move forward. Stanley and I, for example, were on such bad terms after several incidents in our lives. It took us hard work and being forced to go to therapy to understand what we should do to improve our relationship and better ourselves. Also... Concerning Cipher... I agree with Wendy in that aspect. No one is limitless at forgiving. As moralistic as that trait is, our boundaries can't always catch up with it. And that's ok."

"I wish I could tell my family that, but it seems impossible. She messed with their minds and they don't remember. I'm afraid of speaking up because I fear how they will react. One day I explained an adventure of mine to Dad, and he almost had a heart attack! If that isn't a sign of me not saying anything, then I don't know what is."

"Oh trust me, parents can be a pain when they find out you're hurt. My own dad wanted to kill my ex after I told him Robbie had lied to me in an attempt to stay in a relationship with me. I had to yell at him to prevent him from ripping Robbie in half. He’s full of good intentions, but they hardly matter after you’ve killed someone. Anyway, whether your family reacts good or bad, that isn't your fault. Their feelings, their problem, man. If they have a backbone as fragile as glass, it's up to them to improve."

"I don't want them to get hurt or being constantly worried about me." Steven was going to say that Wendy had good points, though that protectiveness towards his loved ones, even at the detriment of his wellbeing got in the way.

"Family will always worry about you, and that's fine. Well, as long as they don't faint or something. You can be worried about a friend, a member of the family, and still, believe they will overcome whatever challenges ahead."

_'Like leaving home unannounced?'_ The million-dollar question battled against his urges to keep that part of his life secret. The Pines twins, Wendy and Soos didn't have to know about this. It was embarrassing and nerve-wracking enough that he had to tell them he had powers and experienced a sea phenomenon years ago. This issue was personal; therefore, it would stay like that.

On the other hand, Stan was right. The Gems, Dad, Connie, and Little Homeworld would be fine. Despite the hurt of leaving them to start anew, they would move on and keep growing, exploring, discovering new stuff about themselves. Steven could worry about their feelings AND have faith everyone he loved was able to reach their potential.

Now, being aware of that fact wasn't at the same level as applying it. Before he could mention that, Soos intervened.

"Hey guys, I was wondering if you have the new version of DD&MD to play with Steven. I'm sure he would like it."

"DD and what?"

"Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons! The best game there is to exist in this world!"

"Kind of an exaggeration, but it grew on me." Stan chuckled fondly at his brother's childish fascination at the game.

"So, is that a yes for everyone?" The gopher-like man glanced at Wendy who wasn't acquainted with the game. "Meh, I don't have other things to do. Besides, kicking some old butts in a board game sounds great to me." Her smirk shot at Stan and Ford who took that as a challenge, especially the first one.

"Alright, missy. You're on. If you lose, you'll have to work at the cashier, take Soos' place as a mechanic, AND clean the portable bathroom."

"But if YOU lose, you'll do all of that while I become the boss for a whole week. No complaints or protests. Oh, and you'll have to give me a raise too."

"Ha! As if. But it will be fun to see you try. Ford, pick up the game, it is in my car. This will be interesting."

A game war had begun.

+++++++++++++++++++

Steven laid on Soos' bed, getting comfortable after a hotly-competitive yet entertaining campaign alongside Wendy against Stan and Ford. Who could have known DD&MD would be that imaginative and enriching in fantasy lore? Flashes of Connie's passionate speeches about her favorite characters of The Spirit Morph Saga series appeared one after the other, he let them be.

Today had been an exhausting day. Kind of enlightening. For the first time in years, well two for that matter, he had talked with someone about the atrocities perpetrated by White. Of course, his new friends didn't know anything about her name or what she used to do before he came into the picture. Was it lying just giving a half-made summary?

He wasn't sure. Regardless, it envigorated him to know he wasn't doing anything wrong for being so conflicted about her. Stan's words felt like a full drink of water in the middle of a drought. He, Ford, Wendy, and Soos validated him. They never prodded, they listened. Nothing was wrong with him for holding a grudge, for feeling unable to connect with someone who had hurt him so much. As much as Dad had told him that resentments took a toll on people if they let them, it wouldn't end well for him to push through those feelings in a rush and acting as if everything was fine.

Because it was a lie. Thankfully, the pressure in his chest due to the harrowing events on White's headship years ago has receded a bit. And who cared if it was just a bit! It felt liberating!

There was something else that concerned him though. He lifted his pajama shirt, taking a look at his gemstone. Pink, clean facets, embedded in his tummy. For a gem, her gemstone was her heart and mind. If you destroyed it, she would be gone forever. Unless you were part of the Cluster but that was a different matter for a different time. However, when his gemstone was ripped out of his body, it didn't become his mom but him. An emotionless and supreme version of him capable of withstanding White's eyebeams.

He wondered if this pink reflection with so much power felt anything at all. The need to be with his other half, the dread of every second of separation, the nature of their unity violated so ruthlessly by White.

Anger was the expression, its only answer. Shattering, destructive, unmovable, brutally determined fury to be heard and find his other half, Steven. Maybe he/it could encapsulate the agony and horror with that single emotion.

He never thought of that before. If his hunch was right, then he wasn't that alone in such nightmarish experience as he imagined.

Watching Stanley and Ford being playful and teasing each other, hearing about the issues between them that they had worked so hard to overcome to be there for one another brought him back to the old times when Amethyst and he were close. It also added to his new understanding of his gemstone and gave him the chance to see it more like his inheritance, an alien-like organ.

It- no, HE had humanity too as bizarre as it sounded. Steven would protect it, cherish it. And perhaps one day, find a way to talk with his unknowingly long-lost twin.

An experience far beyond his craziest dreams.

Well, for now, he had to take a slow step by slow step. It was time to sleep.

"Good night, twiny" he patted his gemstone fondly before closing his eyelids.


End file.
